Six Infidelity Myths Debunked by Science: What Really Happens

Infidelity is a frequently discussed topic, yet many beliefs about cheating are myths. Scientific research paints a more nuanced picture, showing that behavior is shaped by emotions, relationship dynamics, and context. This article revisits six common ideas and explains what the data really show.

Myth 1: Cheating Always Ruins a Relationship

Cheating often changes a relationship rather than simply ends it. It brings painful feelings such as loss of trust and a sense of insecurity. The person who cheated usually experiences guilt. But these emotions do not automatically lead to an inevitable breakup.

Some couples can even grow closer after an affair, but repair requires commitment from both partners, honest conversations, and often professional help. It is not enough to hope for a magic cure; rebuilding trust takes time and effort.

Relying on the idea that a good affair strengthens the marriage is unreliable. Secrets surrounding infidelity complicate matters, and cheating remains a common reason for divorce in many studies.

Myth 2: Both Partners Are Always to Blame

There can be many reasons for a single act of cheating. Examples include:

• loss of emotional connection
• imbalances in contributions to the relationship
• poor communication
• unresolved fears about closeness or conflict
• health issues or mental health concerns
• substance use, stress, or addiction
• personal dissatisfaction or low self-esteem
• anger toward a partner
• falling in love with someone else
• desire for variety in sex
• alcohol use
• revenge

Sometimes the other partner is involved in some way, but often they are not. When discussing causes, it is important to separate fault from responsibility. The person who chooses to cheat bears the primary responsibility. In moments of doubt or crisis, options like talking, ending the relationship, or seeking therapy are possible. Framing the issue as blame on both partners can obscure accountability.

Myth 3: People Usually Cheat with Strangers

Popular movie plots show a person meeting someone new after a night out and waking up far from home. In reality, affairs more often involve someone the person already knows. Before crossing into intimacy, people often test the waters by texting, sharing photos, or flirting.

Myth 4: People Won’t Cheat Again in New Relationships

Many who have cheated think the next partner will be different. While this can happen, data show that the risk of repeating infidelity is higher for people who already cheated once. Still, some individuals commit infidelity only once in their lifetime.

Myth 5: Financial Dependence Prevents Cheating

Economic dependence does not guarantee fidelity. In fact, financial stress or power dynamics can influence behavior in complex ways. For example, when a man’s share of the household income is small, rising earnings can be linked with a higher cheating risk; after crossing a certain earnings threshold, patterns may shift. Women who earn more than their partners tend to remain more faithful on average, regardless of absolute income.

Myth 6: Men Cheat More Often Than Women

This is not a simple truth. Men are somewhat more likely to report cheating, but the gap is not large and varies by age and willingness to admit. Younger adults show similar rates; the difference grows with age due to social norms and reporting. For example, among people aged 20–29, about 11% of men and 10% of women report cheating, while among those in their eighties, about 26% of men and 13% of women report cheating. Note that self-reported data can be influenced by stigma and cultural expectations.

Expert Perspective

Expert comment: Dr. Lisa Chen, a relationship psychologist, notes that infidelity often signals deeper relationship issues. Addressing underlying needs through honest conversation and professional help can support recovery.

Summary

Infidelity is a complex issue with multiple contributing factors. The person who cheats bears responsibility, but successful relationships can recover through open dialogue, trust-building, and support. Understanding common myths helps people approach difficult moments with clarity.

Key insight: Infidelity is a nuanced problem; accountability rests with the cheater, but healthy communication and professional guidance are essential for healing.