Secret Spending in UK Couples: Hidden Purchases, New Study Finds

A UK study shows many couples hide expenses from partners—from clothes to gambling—affecting budgets and long-term goals.

New UK research shows that secret spending—purchases kept from a partner—has become common among couples. The study tracks how everyday items and riskier habits can quietly erode household budgets and complicate long-term goals.

Key findings

The survey of 4,000 adults in relationships found men spent an average of £2,545 in secret over the past year, while women spent an average of £1,769.

The most frequent secret purchase for both genders was clothing. About 20% of men and 35% of women said they had bought clothing without telling their partner.

For women, beauty products were the next most common secret buy, with around a quarter admitting to secret purchases.

For men, the next common secret expense involved personal vices, such as cigarettes and alcohol, with roughly 19% admitting to secret purchases.

Additionally, men were more likely to use cash for gambling or to send gifts to friends and family without disclosure.

Generational differences

Gen Z spenders, born 1997–2012, reported the highest level of secret spending, averaging about £4,303 last year. Among those aged 55 and older, secret outgoings averaged just £384.

Why this matters

Finance expert Laura Suter from AJ Bell noted that while a little secret spending might seem harmless, it can highlight broader issues in how couples discuss and plan money together. Hidden spending can hinder budgeting and the ability to save for goals like a home, an emergency fund, or retirement.

She warned that gaps between stated spending and actual spending are a quick route to financial friction in a relationship. She added that major expenses or regular habits—especially those that threaten a joint financial plan—should be discussed openly, even if it means balancing personal freedom with shared goals.

Expert insights

Finance writer Iona Bain supports the idea that some financial independence is reasonable, but hiding spending often stems from unshared values and priorities. This secrecy can create conflicts later, especially when major life plans—such as buying a home or starting a family—depend on transparent money conversations.

Short summary

In summary, many UK couples admit to secret spending, particularly on clothing and beauty, with younger generations spending more. While some privacy in personal purchases is acceptable, consistent secrecy can undermine budgeting and shared life plans. Open conversations about money remain essential for financial harmony.