10 Phrases to Avoid Saying to Your Child Before Their Final Exams

Motivational phrases like “Fail your final exams and you’ll end up as a dishwasher” often cause more anxiety than top scores. Here’s expert advice from the online school Foxford on how to best support your child during exam season.

1. Support with Actions, Not Just Words

• Don't say: “We all believe in you, don’t let us down!”
• Instead say: “Let’s find a math tutor to help you prepare.”

Overwhelming responsibility can increase stress and anxiety in your child. Expect that they might express frustration about exams or school towards you. Avoid escalating the pressure or demonizing the exams. Empty reassurances like “Everything will be fine” may make your child feel unheard. Instead, listen patiently, then discuss how you can tackle challenges together.

2. Honestly Assess Your Child’s Knowledge and Preparation Time

• Don't say: “You’ve had straight A’s since first grade; acing the exam will be easy!”
• Instead say: “Let’s identify which topics need extra attention ahead of time.”

Grades alone don’t reflect true exam readiness. Factors like teacher attitudes, class difficulty, and even a student’s ability to navigate school affect report cards. Specialized testing can provide a clearer picture of knowledge gaps.

For example, Foxford offers free introductory sessions where educators assess students’ levels and create personalized study plans.

Starting exam preparation too early or too late isn’t ideal. Foxford educators recommend beginning in 10th grade when students have completed mid-level exams and aren’t yet overwhelmed by final exam stress. This two-year preparation period helps students acclimate and approach exams fully ready. Sessions can begin in summer or October, when students have settled into their school routine.

— Foxford Online School Educators

3. Discuss Possible Exam Setbacks Openly

• Don't say: “Without passing, you’ll only be a dishwasher.”
• Instead say: “Let’s plan what to do if your score is lower than expected.”

Many students view failing final exams as a personal failure that ruins their future and embarrasses their family. However, exam scores don’t define success or happiness. Mental health and passion for life matter more than any institution.

Ensure your child understands that a low score isn’t the end of their dreams—it just means the path might be different. Talk through fears and create backup plans, such as applying to universities with lower requirements, pursuing vocational courses, or retaking exams next year. Reinforce that failure doesn’t equate to shame or defeat.

4. Choose Instructors Experienced in Exam Preparation

• Don't say: “Let’s get you the smartest professor from a top university!”
• Instead say: “Let’s review the tutor’s past students’ exam results before deciding.”

Experience with exam formats and proven success rates are key when selecting tutors. Foxford’s teachers come from leading universities and have over seven years of experience preparing students. Their students typically score 25 points higher on exams and enroll in prestigious institutions like MIPT, HSE, MSU, and Bauman MSTU.

Meet tutors beforehand and consider your child’s comfort with their teaching style. Foxford allows tutor changes mid-course if needed. Frequent changes, however, may indicate that one-on-one tutoring isn’t the best fit for your child.

5. Find the Learning Format That Suits Your Child

• Don't say: “Only private tutoring can guarantee good results!”
• Instead say: “Let’s try both group and individual lessons and see what works best.”

Shy students may open up more among peers, while competitive learners might thrive with others’ progress motivating them. Some simply enjoy learning in a group setting. Foxford educators note that some students benefit from focused individual attention, while others gain more from group dynamics.

Group lessons often help students overcome fear of expressing opinions or making mistakes. However, it’s important that students are motivated to participate actively rather than blend into the crowd. Foxford’s top national instructors primarily teach group classes, which are the only way to learn from them.

— Foxford Online School Educators

The ideal format may also vary by subject; for instance, English preparation might suit group lessons, while physics may require one-on-one attention.

6. Make Lessons Convenient for Your Child

• Don't say: “He’s the best tutor in town; a two-hour commute is nothing!”
• Instead say: “I value your time. Let’s find online courses or a tutor who can come to our home.”

Long commutes to tutoring can drain energy and reduce rest time. While proximity alone shouldn’t decide tutor choice, studying in a familiar environment can improve focus and comfort.

If home visits aren’t possible or affordable, consider online tutoring options.

7. Identify Your Child’s Learning Style

• Don't say: “To pass, you have to memorize the entire textbook!”
• Instead say: “There are many ways to learn; let’s find the best one for you.”

Some students memorize best by listening or repeating aloud; others prefer writing notes or creating cheat-sheet summaries. Encourage your child to experiment with different techniques to keep learning engaging.

Introduce methods like scribing—illustrating complex topics with simple drawings. For example, while you read material, your child can sketch key points, making concepts easier to grasp.

Regardless of style, frequent repetition is more effective than long, infrequent study sessions. Daily short reviews beat marathon weekends.

8. Stay Actively Involved in Your Child’s Progress

• Don't say: “If my child says everything’s fine, it must be.”
• Instead say: “I’d like to speak with your tutor regularly to ensure the lessons suit you.”

Teenagers often respond with “I’m fine” even when struggling. School teachers may have limited time to update parents, but you can establish regular communication with tutors. Weekly check-ins help monitor progress and address issues promptly.

Foxford parents receive weekly email reports detailing topics covered and assignments completed. Progress is also accessible anytime via a personal online dashboard.

9. Help Your Child Manage Stress Effectively

• Don't say: “You’re too young to have real problems.”
• Instead say: “Emotional control is a skill you can learn.”

Ask your child what helps them cope with stress. Whether it’s music, pets, or hobbies, these resources can be integrated into exam preparation to maintain well-being.

If your child prefers studying with music, don’t take away their headphones—studies show music can boost focus and productivity.

Teach simple breathing exercises to calm nerves during practice or real exams. For example, slow inhales and exhales counted to four can reduce anxiety after a few cycles.

10. Leverage Technology and Online Resources

• Don't say: “Too much screen time is harmful, and phones make kids dull.”
• Instead say: “It’s great when modern technology supports learning.”

Traditional study methods like neat handwriting and highlighted notes belong to a different era. Today’s students find rote memorization boring and ineffective.

Foxford uses an interactive platform where students and teachers collaborate on a virtual whiteboard. Correct answers light up green, incorrect ones red, turning learning into an engaging quest. 98% of Foxford’s students complete their courses successfully.

Foxford offers courses for grades 3 through 11, preparing students for final exams and academic competitions. Try the free introductory lesson to see if online learning fits your family’s needs.

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