Effective Strategies for Handling Adult Bullying in Modern Life

Arlin Cuncic, MA, clinical psychology expert and author of The Anxiety Workbook, is the founder of About Social Anxiety.

Contrary to popular belief, bullying is not confined to childhood; it persists well into adulthood. Research reveals that nearly one-third of American adults experience bullying, with 43% perceiving it as increasingly normalized. Recognizing and challenging this behavior is essential due to its profound negative impact on everyone involved.

This article defines adult bullying, categorizes its forms, and examines its psychological repercussions. It also offers actionable advice for victims, bystanders, and perpetrators aiming to break free from this damaging cycle.

In some cases, adult bullying may necessitate legal intervention.

Understanding Adult Bullying

The American Psychological Association (APA) describes bullying as deliberate, repeated aggressive behavior that causes harm or discomfort. Adults can be bullies just as children can.

Adult bullies often inflict feelings of oppression, humiliation, and exhaustion on their targets through actions such as:

• Invading personal boundaries
• Delivering personal insults
• Engaging in public humiliation
• Making disparaging jokes
• Issuing threats
• Unwanted physical contact

Distinguishing Harassment from Bullying

While bullying and harassment share traits like power imbalance and intentional harm, harassment specifically targets protected characteristics such as race, religion, or age, often creating a hostile environment, especially at work.

Recognizing Workplace Bullying

Common Types of Adult Bullies

Adult bullies manifest in various forms, including:

• Authority-driven bullies: Individuals who misuse their official power or financial control to intimidate others.
• Verbal bullies: Those who consistently criticize, insult, or use discriminatory language.
• Passive-aggressive bullies: People who mask hostility behind friendliness, using sarcasm, gossip, or exclusion.
• Cyberbullies: Individuals who harass others through digital platforms, affecting people across all demographics.
• Physical bullies: Those who exhibit aggressive physical behavior ranging from intimidation to abuse.

Adult bullies can be found in workplaces, relationships, neighborhoods, and social circles, including bosses, partners, family members, and acquaintances.

The Psychological Impact of Adult Bullying

Both victims and perpetrators of bullying face challenges such as:

• Behavioral difficulties
• Emotional distress
• Heightened risk of mental health disorders like depression
• Lowered self-esteem
• Social and occupational struggles

Bystanders also experience negative effects, including increased psychological symptoms and diminished life satisfaction.

Practical Approaches to Manage Adult Bullying

For Victims

• Choose when to engage: If the bullying is infrequent and not severely harmful, limiting interaction may be the best approach.
• Maintain eye contact: This signals confidence and can reduce the bully's empathy deficit.
• Create distance: At work or social settings, reposition yourself or request role changes to minimize contact.
• Keep detailed records: Document incidents meticulously to support complaints or legal action if necessary.

For Bystanders

• Challenge the bully's behavior to redirect attention.
• Use humor tactfully to defuse tension.
• Intervene collectively to show unified opposition.
• Offer support by accompanying the victim in difficult situations.
• Privately reassure victims, affirming your support and disagreement with bullying.

For Perpetrators

Many bullies have faced trauma or abuse themselves. Addressing these underlying issues through psychotherapy can foster healthier coping mechanisms and reduce harmful behaviors.

Prioritize self-care strategies such as:

• Balanced nutrition
• Regular physical activity
• Quality sleep
• Engagement in creative hobbies
• Relaxation techniques
• Spending time in nature

Seeking Support for Adult Bullying

Bullying’s toll can be physical, emotional, or both. For physical symptoms like stress-related pain or sleep disturbances, consult healthcare providers. Mental health professionals can assist with depression, anxiety, and building resilience against bullying.

Leverage your support network—friends, family, colleagues—to share your experiences and gain validation.

Discover trusted online therapy platforms such as Talkspace, BetterHelp, and Regain for accessible mental health support.

Additional resources:

• Living Well
• Stress Management

Our content is grounded in reputable sources, including peer-reviewed research, ensuring accuracy and reliability.

1. Doctors of Osteopathic Medicine. Survey on adult bullying prevalence.
2. American Psychological Association. Definitions and insights on bullying.
3. National Safety Council. Workplace bullying and harassment guidelines.
4. StopBullying.gov. Official bullying information by the U.S. Department of Health.
5. Cyberbullying Research Center. Demographics and statistics.
6. Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Health impacts of bullying.
7. Callaghan et al. Study on bullying and bystander behavior.
8. Donohoe P. Educational strategies for bullying prevention.
9. Lucas et al. Connections between home violence and bullying.
10. American Psychological Association. Coping with traumatic stress.

By Arlin Cuncic, MA
Arlin Cuncic holds a Master’s in clinical psychology and is the author of The Anxiety Workbook as well as founder of About Social Anxiety.

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