Why Do Men Cheat? Insights That Will Change Your Perspective

Discover a fresh male viewpoint on infidelity through the eyes of Steve Harvey, renowned author and relationship expert.

For many women, cheating is unimaginable and unforgivable. You might believe that once you've said 'I love you,' the least your partner can do is honor the sacred bond of fidelity. Men might lie occasionally, struggle with household chores or parenting, earn less than ideal incomes, prioritize friends or family over their partner, or even underperform in intimacy. Yet, when a man cheats, it feels like the world collapses. Women can tolerate a lot, but infidelity is often a breaking point. So, why do men cheat despite knowing this?

Because They Can

Men often view sex differently than women. While many women see sex as an emotional expression of love, for men, it can be purely physical without emotional attachment. After an encounter, a man might easily return home, shower, and act as if nothing happened.

Sex, to many men, is a physical act — love plays no role in it whatsoever.

They Believe They Won't Get Caught

Men do consider the risk of being discovered, but often they embark on affairs confident they can get away with it. They believe that if caught, they can justify their actions and that their partners will choose to stay despite imperfections. Initially, this might hold true. But once suspicion turns into proof, men tend to lie or deny—if they value the relationship.

If not, a man who sees his partner as incompatible with his life goals might not even try to conceal the affair, openly admitting to it because...

He Hasn't Become the Man He Wants to Be or Found the Right Partner

This might sound like an excuse, but it’s often the truth. Many men say things like, 'Once I earn more, I’ll think about commitment,' or 'After that promotion, I’ll settle down.' Such men are still seeking self-fulfillment and see relationships as distractions. They convince themselves they lack time for a committed relationship because it’s not their priority.

This explains their elusive behavior.

The same applies to married men with children. A mature man who knows himself and is content with his life likely prioritizes God, family, education, business, and other aspects in that order. If family isn’t second on that list, problems arise — he devotes himself to his priorities as arranged.

Home Life Has Changed

This can relate to you. Your partner might complain that the spark in your relationship has faded, that you no longer excite him as before. You know the routine: living together, children, mortgage, bills, work, and the daily grind replace romance. The woman who once dressed up to entice her partner now arrives home, sheds her makeup and heels, and retreats into comfortable but uninspired attire. After long days filled with work and chores, intimacy feels more like an obligation than a pleasure.

In other words, the relationship has become routine. Your partner misses the excitement that was once there. He senses changes in you (and himself, though we focus on you here). He might feel unappreciated, with fewer words of gratitude and more arguments. The family you built no longer feels like the ideal one he imagined. If his expectations aren’t met, he might seek fulfillment elsewhere — confident he can find it because...

There’s Always Someone Willing to Cheat With Him

This uncomfortable truth is often denied. Imagine if every woman refused to be involved with a married man — how many relationships would survive? Men have the opportunity to cheat because many women are willing to engage with unavailable men. Sometimes these women are unaware their partner is taken, but often they know and still choose to participate.

— Steve Harvey, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: Why Men Love, Commit, and Cheat"

Photo credit: Getty Images

Explore useful articles in Men and Us as of 22-02-2024. The article titled " Why Do Men Cheat? Insights That Will Change Your Perspective " offers in-depth analysis and practical advice in the Men and Us field. Each article is carefully crafted by experts to provide maximum value to readers.

The " Why Do Men Cheat? Insights That Will Change Your Perspective " article expands your knowledge in Men and Us, keeps you informed about the latest developments, and helps you make well-informed decisions. Each article is based on unique content, ensuring originality and quality.