2025 Insights: How My Child with ADHD Thinks Differently and What It Means for Parenting

For most children, having 31 ice cream flavors to choose from is a thrilling experience—an exciting array of delicious options like bubblegum, mint chocolate chip, or rocky road. More choices mean more fun and excitement!

However, for my child with ADHD, so many options often lead to "analysis paralysis." What seems like a simple decision to others, such as picking a toy prize, can become a slow and stressful process, making the abundance of choices overwhelming rather than enjoyable.

1. Overwhelmed by Too Many Choices

When my son started first grade, I realized that choosing his school lunch would be a daily challenge. With options like hot lunch, cheese sandwich, turkey sandwich, or yogurt and string cheese, he faced pressure to decide early in the morning so the kitchen could prepare the meals.

Anticipating his struggle to make quick decisions and potential lunchtime frustration, I opted to pack his lunch daily. Limiting his choices to simple options like apples or grapes, fish crackers or granola bars, helped reduce stress for both him and his teachers.

While some children with ADHD may make hasty decisions without enough consideration, my son experiences difficulty navigating the decision-making process itself. Simplifying choices to just a few options has been far more effective for us.

2. Unique Challenges with Object Permanence

Object permanence—the understanding that objects continue to exist even when out of sight—is a cognitive milestone. My son demonstrates a different kind of object permanence: he knows his belongings exist but often forgets where they are or to think about them when needed.

This leads to frequent lost items, such as his planner or lunchbox, which he might leave behind multiple times a week. Even when objects are visible, like his sweatshirt dropped by his desk, he may not consciously register their presence, resulting in clutter and forgotten items around him.

This behavior seems connected to his level of interest and effort required to manage these belongings, highlighting the need for tailored strategies to help him stay organized.

3. The Mental Math of Motivation

Everyone subconsciously calculates the balance between interest, importance, and effort when deciding to complete tasks. For many, important tasks that require some effort—like showering—get done because the benefits outweigh the work.

For my son, tasks with low interest but some importance, such as putting away clothes, often remain undone despite repeated reminders. His internal equation doesn’t align with ours, and tasks requiring effort without high interest tend to be avoided or only grudgingly completed.

Using high-interest activities as incentives has proven effective in motivating him to tackle less appealing tasks, providing a practical approach to managing daily responsibilities.

4. Time Perception and ADHD

Children with ADHD often perceive time differently. My son might see vacuuming as an endless chore, while feeling that an hour of video gaming passed in no time.

To help, we use timers and clocks to make time more concrete and manageable. Developing a realistic sense of time is a critical life skill for kids with ADHD, helping them balance tasks and leisure more effectively.

Conclusion

Parenting a child with ADHD comes with unique challenges due to their distinct ways of thinking and processing the world. Understanding these differences has empowered me to support my son’s creativity and energy while finding practical solutions to everyday hurdles. With patience and tailored strategies, raising a child with ADHD can be a rewarding journey filled with growth and discovery.

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