2025 Breakup Grief Processing: Healing Insights & Podcast Experience

Many individuals continue to experience profound grief months or even years after a painful breakup, expressing their emotions through voicemails featured in a unique podcast series.

The One Who Got Away is a compelling podcast series that delves into the transformative power of loss. These heartfelt first-person narratives highlight the diverse ways people experience grief and adapt to new realities.

Years after Hurricane Katrina, artist and musician Oliver Blank lived in New Orleans’ Bywater neighborhood, where he encountered a poignant question scrawled on a wall: “What would you say to the one who got away?” This inspired him to create an interactive art project inviting people worldwide to share their messages via voicemail.

Initially expecting a few hundred responses, Blank was overwhelmed by thousands of heartfelt messages. Motivated to deepen this connection, he launched the podcast The One Who Got Away in 2019, composing original music to accompany each episode.

While the messages cover various types of loss, most revolve around the struggle to say goodbye to a lost love, revealing the intense grief breakups can cause.

“You were the one, the one that got away. My perfect man. And someone’s going to spend their life cherishing your beautiful face — and it won’t be me.” — Caller on The One Who Got Away

Breakups can be as traumatic as losing a loved one, triggering deep, lasting sorrow. Mourning a breakup is complicated, especially when the person remains visible on social media or connected through mutual friends.

Before each episode, Blank reflects on these emotional challenges, emphasizing that memories are all we truly have after parting ways. He also candidly shares his own experience of heartache and regret.

How Are Breakups Similar to Grief From Loss?

Breakup grief can linger for months or years, much like mourning a death. During the podcast’s production, Blank himself experienced a breakup, which intensified his connection to the callers’ stories and the universal nature of loss.

People often use language around breakups that mirrors how they speak about death, reflecting limited vocabulary for expressing loss. Yet, the podcast reveals resilience and hope amidst heartbreak.

“Every night you’re in my dreams, and I don’t want to wake up anymore.” — Caller on The One Who Got Away

Is Absence in Life the Same as Nonexistence?

Both breakups and death prompt a search for closure, as humans struggle with sadness and loss. The absence of a once-intimate person reshapes daily routines and imbues anniversaries and shared places with new meaning.

However, breakups often intensify suffering because the other person still exists in the world, leading to preoccupation with how they live without us.

“You’re the first and only love I’ve ever known, and I fear I’ll never feel that way again. No matter how hard I try, I can’t forget you.” — Caller on The One Who Got Away

Social Media’s Impact on Moving Forward After Breakups

Therapists often advise against checking an ex-partner’s social media, as digital footprints can hinder healing. Social feeds offer curated glimpses that can fuel fantasies and prolong attachment to the lost relationship.

“It’s been a year, and I can’t envision being with anyone else. I believe love comes once in a lifetime, and when it’s gone, it’s gone. I want to hate you for this, but I can’t.” — Caller on The One Who Got Away

How Does This Podcast Aid Grief Processing?

The One Who Got Away serves as a cathartic platform for both callers and listeners. By calling 718-395-7556 and answering, “What would you say to the one who got away?” individuals express raw, honest emotions that foster relief and connection.

The podcast demands emotional engagement, offering deeply moving 25-minute episodes that inspire tears, artistic creations, and even encourage listeners to share their own stories.

For more inspiring stories about navigating grief and embracing new beginnings, explore the full series here.

Juli Fraga, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist in San Francisco, specializing in women’s health with compassionate and honest care. Follow her insights on Twitter.

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