Stop Blaming Victims Who Fall Prey to Scams—It’s Time for Compassion

Anyone can be tricked by a scam—even you.

“The IRS will never call you unexpectedly.” “Your bank won’t ask for your Social Security number over the phone.” “Police won’t call you about an arrest warrant.”

Scams have become so frequent that public warnings are now essential. The Federal Trade Commission reports that consumers lost $76 million to government impersonation scams in 2023—a staggering 90% increase from $40 million in 2022. Early 2024 saw another $20 million lost in similar scams. Beyond these, losses from cryptocurrency fraud, employment scams, phishing, and more continue to rise.

Sadly, many scam victims feel too ashamed or guilty to share their experiences, often facing ridicule for “falling for it.” If you’ve been scammed, remember: it’s not your fault. Blaming victims doesn’t help anyone. Here’s why.

Why Do We Blame Scam Victims?

It’s common to think, “I can’t believe you fell for that; I would have seen it coming.” But such judgments stem from cognitive biases that distort reality.

The Just World Bias

Psychologist Melvin J. Lerner’s Belief in a Just World suggests people want to believe the world is fair—good things happen to good people, bad things to bad people. This leads to the mistaken idea that victims somehow deserved their misfortune. But the truth is, injustice happens to good people every day.

Hindsight Bias

Hindsight bias makes us overestimate how well we could predict events after they happen. When hearing a scam story, it’s easy to say, “I would have known it was a scam,” but no one truly knows how they’d react in the moment.

Defensive Attribution

Defensive attribution is blaming victims to protect ourselves from the frightening thought that we could also be targeted. This mindset is common in many trauma-related victim blaming scenarios.

While these biases explain why victim blaming happens, it’s crucial to recognize it’s harmful and ineffective at preventing scams.

The Negative Effects of Victim Blaming

Being scammed can be emotionally devastating. When victims internalize blame or face it from others, recovery becomes even harder. They may feel undeserving of help or unable to seek support.

Victim Shaming Enables More Scams

Scams evolve constantly, making it nearly impossible to stay ahead of every new trick. Shaming victims silences them, preventing the sharing of crucial information that could protect others. We must foster safe spaces for victims to speak out.

Blaming victims also diverts responsibility from scammers, who manipulate people using sophisticated psychological tactics.

Ashley Cairns’ Experience

Ashley Cairns, counselor and co-founder of A Change for Better, was scammed by a “reputable” web development firm promising a custom website for $36,000. Despite paying a $13,000 deposit, six months passed with no website delivered. Further investigation uncovered other victims, including a retired couple scammed out of $10,000.

Fortunately, Ashley recovered her money with interest after a lengthy legal battle, but the ordeal highlights scammers’ deceptive tactics.

Kate N.’s Story

Kate N., 30, fell victim to a public scam disguised as a charity fundraiser, losing over $3,000. She faced both self-blame and victim blaming from others, including harsh online comments that failed to acknowledge the complexity of psychological manipulation.

The reality is, no one truly knows how they’d react until faced with such a situation.

How to Support Scam Victims

If someone shares their scam experience, pause before responding. Avoid blaming or mocking. Instead, understand the psychological reasons behind victim blaming.

Offer empathy and connect them with helpful resources. Challenge victim-blaming attitudes when you encounter them.

Responding to Self-Blame

If victims blame themselves, reassure them it’s not their fault. Knowing the outcome makes it easy to judge, but no one is immune to scams.

Ashley advises, “Don’t give up. Keep thorough records. Avoid cash transfers; use credit cards with fraud protection.”

Kate adds, “Being scammed often means you’re a trusting, kind person. Stay hopeful and learn scam warning signs to protect yourself in the future.”

Resources for Scam Victims

Help is available for those affected by scams, including emotional support from therapists and financial recovery assistance.

Reporting scams to agencies like the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) or FBI can help warn others and potentially bring scammers to justice.

• National Center for Victims of Crime offers guides for self-advocacy and recovering funds.
• FINRA Foundation provides fraud prevention resources and victim support.
• Cybercrime Support Network shares actionable steps and educational materials.
• Identity Theft Resource Center offers tools for identity theft prevention and recovery.

Summary

Scams are widespread, and blaming victims only harms recovery and public awareness. Scams occur because scammers exploit trust, not because victims deserve it.

If you’ve been scammed, remember it’s not your fault. If someone you know has been scammed, support them without judgment.

Until scams become a thing of the past, victims deserve empathy and assistance—not shame.

Read more:

• Living Well
• Self-Improvement

Sources:

1. Federal Trade Commission. FTC Data Shows Major Increases in Cash Payments to Government Impersonation Scammers. (2024).
2. Nataraj-Hansen S, Richards K. Why do fraud victims get blamed? Lerner’s Belief in a Just World and its application to victims of online fraud. JFC. 2023;30(3):828-839
3. Hoffrage U, Pohl R. Research on hindsight bias: A rich past, a productive present, and a challenging future. Memory. 2003;11(4-5):329-335.
4. Pinciotti CM, Orcutt HK. It won’t happen to me: an examination of the effectiveness of defensive attribution in rape victim blaming. Violence Against Women. 2020;26(10):1059-1079.

By Amy Marschall, PsyD
Dr. Amy Marschall is a clinical psychologist specializing in neurodiverse children and adolescents, certified in trauma-focused CBT and telehealth.

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