She/Her Pronouns: Understanding Their Meaning and Appropriate Usage

Honoring Identity Through Language

She, her, and hers are pronouns traditionally linked to women and girls but are also embraced by individuals who identify as gender nonconforming, nonbinary, or gender expansive. These pronouns serve as a way to express feminine identity without using a person’s name.

While she/her pronouns commonly signify a female or feminine identity, pronouns can change over time, especially for those with fluid gender identities who may use she/her at certain times and different pronouns at others.

Dating back to the 12th century, the pronouns she and her have evolved from earlier forms where gender distinctions were less clear in language.

Why Are Pronouns Essential?

Pronouns play a crucial role in affirming a person’s identity. Using the correct pronouns shows respect and validation, while misusing them can be hurtful and invalidating. Learning and using someone's correct pronouns fosters positive interactions and mutual respect.

Pronoun recognition is particularly impactful for individuals undergoing gender transitions. Correct pronoun use supports their comfort and well-being during this process, whereas incorrect usage can cause emotional distress.

Research demonstrates that transgender individuals who experience affirmation through proper pronoun use have better mental health outcomes compared to those facing discrimination or misgendering.

Studies consistently link accurate pronoun use with increased feelings of gender affirmation, contributing to overall improved mental health and self-esteem.

Who Typically Uses She/Her Pronouns?

She, her, and hers are most commonly used by women and girls. However, anyone who feels these pronouns align with their gender identity may choose to use them. This includes people who identify as nonbinary, gender fluid, gender nonconforming, gender expansive, genderqueer, or other identities where she/her pronouns feel most authentic.

What Does It Mean When Someone Lists She/Her in Their Bio?

When a person includes she/her pronouns in their biography, it signals how they wish to be referred to in the third person. Sharing pronouns openly has become a widespread practice aimed at eliminating assumptions and promoting respectful communication.

Providing pronouns publicly removes uncertainty and normalizes the practice, especially for individuals whose gender expression may not align with societal expectations. This habit reduces discomfort and encourages inclusivity.

Social media platforms and dating apps frequently offer fields to display pronouns, making it easier to communicate identity clearly and respectfully.

What Are the Four Common Gender Pronouns?

Gendered pronouns include she/her and he/him, which typically correspond to feminine and masculine identities, respectively. Non-gendered pronouns like they/them are used both when gender is unknown and by individuals who prefer gender-neutral terms. Additionally, neopronouns such as ze/zir and ne/nir provide further options beyond traditional pronouns.

How to Ask Someone About Their Pronouns

Simply and respectfully ask, “What are your pronouns?” or “Which pronouns do you use?” Avoid using the term “preferred” as it implies choice rather than identity, recognizing that pronouns are an intrinsic part of who someone is.

What to Do If You Use the Wrong Pronouns

If you mistakenly use incorrect pronouns, promptly correct yourself using the A.C.M. method:

• Apologize briefly
• Correct the pronouns
• Move on without making it a big issue

This approach respects the individual without drawing unnecessary attention to the mistake.

Where to Learn More About Pronouns

Pronoun usage continues to evolve as society grows more inclusive. Educational resources are available for all ages to deepen understanding:

• "What's Your Pronoun? Beyond He and She" explores the history of pronouns and gender for adults and older readers.
• "Us: An Intro to Pronouns" offers an inclusive introduction for younger audiences and LGBTQIA+ youth.

For parents of gender-expansive children, engaging in conversations about pronouns is a supportive step toward affirming your child’s identity.

Additional mental health resources for the LGBTQIA+ community include topics like Living Well and Gender Identity.

Sources:

1. LGBTQ+ Resource Center: Gender Pronouns
2. Restar A, Jin H, Breslow A, et al. (2020). Legal gender marker and name change linked to improved mental health in trans populations. SSM Popul Health.
3. Sevelius JM, Chakravarty D, Dilworth SE, et al. (2020). Gender affirmation through pronouns: Validation of the TW-IP scale. Int J Environ Res Public Health.
4. LGBTQIA Resource Center: Pronouns and Inclusive Language

By Ariane Resnick, CNC
Ariane Resnick is a mental health writer, certified nutritionist, and wellness advocate dedicated to promoting accessibility and inclusivity.

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