Mastering Gadget Etiquette: How to Stay Polite and Connected in the Digital Age

Smartphones have become inseparable companions, whether we're visiting friends, dining out, or commuting. However, constantly staring at screens or snapping selfies isn't always appropriate. Jeremiah Tower, a renowned authority on etiquette, introduces the concept of "technetiquette" — guidelines for polite gadget use.

Jeremiah Tower

Founder of California cuisine, Tower has launched several acclaimed restaurants worldwide and authored the cookbook "The New American Classic."

Is It Okay to Text or Call at the Table?

Take a look at this photo.

Sound familiar? While some claim technology and social networks isolate people, often individuals hide behind phone screens because they’re unsure how to behave, especially in unfamiliar company or formal dinners.

Looking at your phone doesn’t make you less awkward or more important; it makes you unavailable.

— Jeremiah Tower

From "How to Eat with Your Hands Without Losing Decorum"

Does this mean you should stash your phone away when sitting down to eat? Not necessarily. You just need to follow some simple rules.

• Place your phone face down on the table when you take it out. Notifications about likes or emails shouldn’t distract you from the conversation.
• If you’re a guest expecting an important call, inform the host and others that you may check your phone occasionally and might leave early.
• When an important call comes in, calmly excuse yourself and step away to answer it, preferably in another room. Others don’t need to know your medical appointments or business details.
• If no urgent calls are expected, switch your phone to silent mode. No one wants to hear your ringtone interrupting the conversation.
• Never use speakerphone in public settings unless it’s a special call, like a grandmother greeting the whole family.
• Avoid texting during social gatherings—it signals boredom and preference for others’ company. If necessary, politely excuse yourself rather than disrupting the atmosphere. Exceptions include quick messages to unattended children at home.
• When showing photos, share only the relevant images instead of scrolling through your entire album. Likewise, don’t browse others’ phones without permission.

When Should You Avoid Photographing Your Food?

Is it enough to simply enjoy a plate of pasta with meatballs or a rich espresso with cheesecake? Often, the allure of these dishes calls for an Instagram post, especially when the presentation is stunning.

However, before snapping and sharing, ask yourself two questions:

1. Am I inconveniencing others by holding my phone out to take this photo?
2. Am I doing this just to provoke envy or seek approval?

If the answer to either is yes, it’s better to skip the photo session or keep the pictures private.

Is It Appropriate to Post Photos and Videos Live from a Party?

Yes, if you’re the host and have informed guests who consent.

Yes, if the host permits or requests it, especially for events like charity dinners that benefit from social media exposure.

In such cases, sharing photos on Facebook, tweeting, or streaming live on platforms like Periscope is acceptable—but exercise caution!

If a photo captures a compromising moment, always ask for permission before posting it online.

— Jeremiah Tower

From "How to Eat with Your Hands Without Losing Decorum"

What About Googling During Conversations?

Before the internet, dinner debates were lively, with everyone defending their views through stories and examples.

Now, many disputes end quickly with "Let’s just Google it!" This might be the Solomon-like solution of the 21st century, but remember that a quick answer can cut conversations short.

Once you pull out your phone, others follow, turning an engaging talk into a flurry of checking messages and notifications.

— Jeremiah Tower

From "How to Eat with Your Hands Without Losing Decorum"

Jeremiah Tower’s book proves etiquette isn’t outdated; it evolves with our lifestyle. Today, it’s normal to split the bill or not obsess over fork tines, but new etiquette rules are essential to remain a cultured individual in the digital era.

*Note: Meta Platforms Inc. services, including Facebook and Instagram, are restricted in certain regions.

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