Master Tough Decisions Effortlessly with the 10/10/10 Rule

Stop agonizing and procrastinating over tough choices.

Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Authors known for their insights on decision-making and business strategies.

When faced with challenging questions, it’s hard to think clearly about the future. Circumstances can blind you, leaving you stuck in painful uncertainty and changing your mind multiple times a day. The worst outcome is letting emotions take control. Decisions made in anger, desire, or anxiety often lead to regret. Wouldn't it be great to have an undo button for those moments?

Fortunately, we don’t have to be slaves to our feelings. Even the strongest emotions fade. That’s why it’s often advised to postpone important decisions until the next day—morning brings clarity. While helpful, this advice isn’t always enough. You need a strategy.

Suzy Welch, a business author and former editor of Harvard Business Review, introduced a powerful tool: the 10/10/10 rule. This method encourages evaluating decisions from three time perspectives by answering these questions:

• How will I feel 10 minutes after making this decision?
• How will I feel 10 months from now?
• How will I feel 10 years from now?

These questions help you detach from overwhelming current emotions.

Consider Annie's story. She was worried about her nine-month relationship with Carl. Annie saw Carl as a wonderful person she wanted to build a life with, but she felt the relationship wasn’t progressing. At 36, she wanted children and feared time was running out. She hadn’t met Carl’s daughter from a previous marriage, and neither had said “I love you.”

Carl had a painful divorce and was hesitant to start a serious relationship. He kept his daughter separate from his personal life. Annie understood but felt hurt by this barrier.

Before a long trip together, Annie was torn about taking the next step and telling Carl she loved him. Knowing Carl’s tendency to delay decisions (he’d spent three years debating buying a smartphone), she wondered if she should make the move.

We introduced Annie to the 10/10/10 method and asked her to imagine confessing her feelings that weekend. Her responses:

• In 10 minutes: “I’ll be nervous but proud for taking the risk and expressing my feelings.”
• In 10 months: “I don’t think I’ll regret it. Of course, I hope it works out, but nothing changes without effort.”
• In 10 years: “No matter his reaction, it won’t matter then. By that time, we’ll either be together or I’ll be with someone else.”

With the 10/10/10 rule, Annie’s decision became clear: she should take the initiative. She’d be proud and unlikely to regret it, even if the relationship didn’t work out. Previously, fear and anxiety had made the choice seem impossible.

Months later, Annie shared, “I told him I love him. I’m actively working to change the uncertainty I felt. Carl hasn’t said it back yet, but our relationship is progressing. I believe he just needs more time to overcome his fears. I’m glad I took the risk and won’t regret my decision, no matter the outcome. I’d say there’s about an 80% chance we’ll stay together.”

Our current feelings are vivid and intense, while the future seems vague. This gives the present too much power over us. The 10/10/10 rule shifts focus from immediate emotions to long-term perspective.

This doesn’t mean ignoring short-term feelings—they often reveal what you want. But don’t let them dictate your actions.

The 10/10/10 rule is useful in any area. For example, if you’ve been avoiding a difficult conversation with a colleague, consider how you’ll feel 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years after addressing it. You’ll likely be glad you resolved it and may even learn valuable lessons.

So, when facing tough decisions or the urge to procrastinate, ask yourself these three questions. You’ll realize that fleeting emotions aren’t the only voice to listen to.

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