Emotional Permanence and ADHD: Understanding the Challenges and Effective Strategies

Emotional permanence refers to the ability to believe that feelings continue to exist even when they are not actively expressed or visible. For individuals with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), grasping this concept can be particularly challenging. However, developing emotional permanence is possible through consistent routines, recalling past experiences, and creative outlets.

This concept parallels the childhood developmental milestone known as “object permanence,” which is the understanding that objects remain present even when out of sight.

Emotional permanence allows a person to feel assured that someone cares, loves, or trusts them, even if these emotions aren’t constantly communicated. For example, when a loved one leaves, you can trust their feelings remain unchanged despite the physical absence.

Essentially, emotional permanence means recognizing that emotions can persist in the background at varying intensities, even after situations evolve. It also acknowledges that some emotions may diminish over time or change in strength—for instance, if someone is upset with you, that feeling may not last indefinitely.

Does ADHD Affect Emotional Permanence?

Some individuals with ADHD may experience difficulties with emotional permanence. ADHD manifests uniquely in each person, but common symptoms such as emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and distractibility can interfere with sustaining emotional continuity.

Briana Sefcik, Director of Trauma and Family Wellness at The Last Resort Recovery Center in Austin, explains, “Many people with ADHD face emotional dysregulation, where feelings feel intense but fleeting.” When emotions themselves are unstable, understanding that others’ emotions can be enduring becomes harder.

Additionally, ADHD-related challenges like shifting attention can impair memory retention of past emotions, making it difficult to maintain a stable emotional narrative. Impulsivity and hyperactivity may also disrupt social bonds, reinforcing the perception that emotions are intense yet short-lived.

Frequent misunderstandings or conflicts can further contribute to feelings of emotional impermanence due to ongoing emotional fluctuations.

Dr. Max Doshay, licensed clinical psychologist and CEO of Monima Wellness, highlights that ADHD impacts executive functions such as working memory, which are vital for continuous emotional awareness.

The Importance of Emotional Permanence for Mental Health

Emotional permanence fosters a sense of security and emotional consistency in relationships, which is crucial for mental well-being. According to Sefcik, it helps prevent feelings of anxiety, abandonment, and rejection by providing emotional stability.

Dr. Doshay adds, “Understanding that emotions form a continuum rather than isolated episodes supports better emotional regulation and healthier expectations.”

Strategies to Cultivate Emotional Permanence

While developing emotional permanence can be more challenging for adults with ADHD, professional support alongside practical techniques can facilitate growth. For children, daily routines and activities are instrumental in building this skill.

Establishing Consistent Routines

Caregivers can help children with ADHD by maintaining predictable routines that reinforce ongoing care and support. For example, reading a bedtime story every night can create a lasting sense of love and connection over time.

Leveraging Object Permanence

Dr. Doshay recommends using the concept of object permanence to teach emotional permanence. Discussing feelings toward cherished objects like a favorite toy or blanket helps children understand that their affection remains even when the object is not visible.

Asking children where their special item is and how they feel about it reinforces that emotions tied to it persist despite absence.

Memory Books and Scrapbooks

Memory books serve as tangible reminders of joyful past experiences, helping children revisit and internalize positive emotions. Sefcik notes that reviewing such books together strengthens the understanding that love and happiness endure beyond the moment.

Reflective Conversations

Older children and adults can deepen emotional permanence through reflective discussions about meaningful memories—like vacations, milestones, or humorous events. Exploring how past emotions shape current relationships emphasizes the lasting nature of feelings.

Dr. Doshay encourages open sharing with trusted friends or family, stating, “Expressing your feelings and hearing others’ perspectives reinforces the belief that emotions endure, fostering emotional balance.”

Journaling is another valuable tool for self-reflection, allowing individuals to track their emotional experiences and observe how feelings evolve over time.

Creative Expression

Engaging in art, music, writing, or other creative activities often captures emotional experiences, preserving them for future reflection. Both children and adults with ADHD can benefit from using creativity to revisit and understand their emotions.

When to Seek Professional Support

Building emotional permanence can be challenging, especially with ADHD-related symptoms. If self-help strategies feel insufficient or interpersonal difficulties persist, consulting a mental health professional is beneficial.

Dr. Doshay highlights that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is effective in helping adults develop emotional permanence by fostering emotional safety and reframing unhelpful thought patterns.

Key Takeaway

Emotional permanence is the understanding that emotions can continue to exist at varying intensities, even when they are not outwardly expressed. While ADHD may complicate this understanding, consistent routines, revisiting past positive emotions, creative expression, and professional guidance can support emotional growth and stability.

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