Building Strong Friendships While Living with Bipolar Disorder: Insights from an Advocate

Gabe Howard, a passionate bipolar disorder advocate and podcast host, shares his perspective on how this mental health condition can affect social interactions and why openness with friends is essential.

What Social Challenges Does Bipolar Disorder Present?

The impact of bipolar disorder on social life is multifaceted. When I am stable—which is most of the time now that I am in recovery—the disorder barely affects my relationships. My friends accept my unique traits just as I embrace theirs.

However, during active phases of my illness, my behavior became unpredictable and sometimes hurtful, pushing friends away and straining family bonds. I recall moments when I said things I deeply regretted, like telling my then-wife I hated her and lashing out at my mother. I would make commitments I couldn’t keep and then react with frustration when others were upset.

Even after healing, past conflicts leave emotional scars that occasionally resurface. While my family continues to love and forgive me, regaining their full trust is an ongoing journey marked by the lasting effects of my illness.

Living with bipolar disorder also brings its own emotional burdens, including fears of abandonment, job loss, or hospitalization if I slip up socially. These concerns can shadow new and existing relationships.

Despite these challenges, I have dedicated years to fostering healthy, supportive friendships. This process demands patience and effort but offers invaluable rewards.

Should You Share Your Bipolar Diagnosis with Friends?

When I say “friends,” I mean those close confidants who hold a special place in your life—people you trust deeply and can rely on in times of crisis, not casual acquaintances or colleagues.

In my experience, being honest about bipolar disorder with close friends is crucial. For example, my best friend stood by me during a difficult night after my grandfather’s passing, when I was overwhelmed with grief and anger. Her understanding was possible only because she knew my full story.

True friendship thrives on support, love, and genuine connection. Concealing such a significant part of yourself can hinder this bond and may unintentionally signal a lack of trust, which friends can sense.

Moreover, if your condition becomes apparent later on after years of secrecy, friends may feel hurt or betrayed, complicating their ability to support you during tough times.

How Can You Sustain Friendships with Bipolar Disorder?

The key is to treat your friendships with openness, honesty, and mutual respect—just as you would without bipolar disorder. Being a reliable and caring friend goes a long way.

Sometimes, the simplest approach is the most effective.

Gabe Howard is an award-winning speaker, author, and podcast host who openly lives with bipolar disorder. He hosts the Inside Bipolar podcast by Healthline Media and authored "Mental Illness is an Asshole and Other Observations."

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