Transform Your Mindset: The Navy SEAL Officer's Guide to Stop Complaining

Complaining won't solve your problems, but discipline can.

Darius Foroux

Entrepreneur, blogger, and host of The Darius Foroux Show podcast.

Chances are you have goals, dreams, and plans you’re striving to achieve. Do you get frustrated when things don’t go your way? If so, I want to share a simple yet powerful idea with you.

I learned it from retired Navy SEAL officer Jocko Willink’s book, "Discipline Equals Freedom." The concept is straightforward: complaining about circumstances when things don’t work out is pointless. However, Jocko doesn’t just tell you to stop complaining—he understands that true change requires more than that.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to quit complaining for good. Every time I tried, I struggled because breaking the habit in a single day isn’t realistic.

To stop complaining, you must change your habits.

When things seem bleak and you feel disappointed, try focusing on the positive aspects within the situation. How? Simply tell yourself “okay” when something goes wrong.

• Mission canceled? Okay, let’s focus on the next one.
• No promotion? Okay, more time to improve yourself.
• No funding? Okay, that company now owes you.
• Didn't get the job? Okay, gain experience and update your resume.
• Injured? Okay, time to rest from training.
• Got beaten? Okay, better in training than on the street.
• Lost? Okay, learn from mistakes.
• Unexpected problem? Okay, here’s a chance to find a solution.

See the idea? Every setback holds an opportunity. Train your mind to think this way, and over time your mindset will transform completely.

A few years ago, I decided to stop complaining for good. I started small, as usual. At first, it was easy—who cares if it rains today or if you break your favorite coffee mug? You can always get a new one! Ignoring minor annoyances is simple.

But when bigger challenges arise, it’s easy to forget the promise to stop complaining. This is where true resilience is tested—not by ignoring small issues but by how you handle major setbacks. When faced with significant failure, do you still complain, or have you trained your mind to focus on the positives?

It took me about two years to master this. Previously, whenever something went wrong in my personal life or business, I’d start complaining—even if only in my thoughts. Now, I see these moments as challenges, thanks to Jocko’s method.

When X (a negative event) happens, do Y (a positive, productive action).

This isn’t groundbreaking science, nor do I claim it’s the best idea since the wheel. But I found this exercise incredibly effective. I’ve read dozens of books on positive thinking, yet none worked until I read Jocko’s.

So don’t give up—keep moving forward. When you do, you won’t even have time to complain.

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