Time Loops: How Obsessing Over the Future Prevents You from Living in the Present

Are you familiar with the tale of "Clever Elsa"? The story’s protagonist ruined her own matchmaking by imagining that after her wedding, she would have a child who would go down to the cellar and get hit by a hoe. Instead of enjoying the present, she became consumed by anxiety about the future, spreading these fears to her family members, who took turns descending into the cellar to weep bitterly over the fate of the unborn child.

Much like the character from the Grimm brothers’ fairy tale, some people become so fixated on the future that they seem to stop living in the present. This could manifest as worrying about paying off a mortgage for an apartment not yet purchased, fearing that a daughter’s new boyfriend will cheat after marriage, or meticulously planning a garden before even building the house. It’s as if they are sleepwalking—walking, talking, and interacting while their mind is preoccupied with what hasn’t happened yet.

Natalia Zhukova

Founder and Rector of the University of Modern Psychology, Psychologist.

What’s Really Happening?

These scenarios are known as "time loops." Often, they stem from psychological trauma that the mind cannot allow to be repeated without preparation. As a result, the person obsessively plans the future in an attempt to control it. Paradoxically, the traumatic situation repeats itself over and over. The psyche tries to guide the person to finally experience, resolve, and release the trauma by placing them in similar circumstances repeatedly.

Diving into such a "loop" can be triggered by various events. For example, women in love often immerse themselves in dreams about the future. Think of Bridget Jones, who meticulously planned her wedding with a man she had just met, even choosing names for their future children. But as you may recall, her detailed planning did not save her from many disappointments.

While this was humorous in film, in real life, such behavior often masks deep anxiety that the woman cannot overcome. To reduce the tension, she fantasizes about the future, exploring different scenarios. Though it may look like romantic daydreaming, it is actually hyper-control. Essentially, she pays for past painful experiences by mentally escaping into the future. These are the journeys through time.

How to Recognize if You Are Stuck in a "Time Loop"?

One sign is frequent absentmindedness, difficulty concentrating, memory problems, and daydreaming. Of course, these symptoms can arise from other issues. To test this, when you notice you’ve missed or forgotten something, ask yourself: "What was I thinking about just before?" If the answer involves hypothetical or future scenarios, you’re likely trapped in a time loop. Unlike healthy planning, your thoughts cycle repeatedly as you weigh different possible actions one after another.

Also, if you repeatedly encounter similar situations, the problem may not be your habits but your psyche, which keeps placing you in these circumstances to help you process and close the traumatic chapter.

Who Is Most Vulnerable to This Issue?

People who have experienced psychological trauma often get used to living with anxiety, which becomes their constant companion. They strive to control everything and find it hard to let things unfold naturally. The essence of a "time loop" is hyper-control aimed at reducing anxiety. So, if you tend to worry over small details or feel tense when things don’t go as planned, you’ve likely found yourself in this psychological timelessness more than once—perhaps without realizing it, mistaking it for productive planning.

How to Stop Time Traveling and Live in the Here and Now?

Being able to plan is a valuable skill, especially in today’s unpredictable world. However, it's important to draw a line between healthy planning and falling into "time loops." To avoid the latter, accept that some things in life are beyond your control. This can be challenging without professional help, as control is a defense mechanism of the psyche. Trying to bypass it alone often fails. The best approach is to seek therapy to address the root causes of your anxiety and hyper-control by healing psychological trauma.

Photo: Shutterstock / Fotodom.ru

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