The Untold Story Behind Tchaikovsky's Troubled Marriage

Pyotr Tchaikovsky fled from Antonina Milyukova just two weeks after their wedding. She spent her final years in a psychiatric hospital, from where she continued to write him letters.

More than 130 years after his death, Pyotr Tchaikovsky remains one of the most celebrated composers worldwide. His image graces billboards in Times Square, and his ballet 'The Nutcracker' is a beloved holiday tradition from Vienna to Sydney.

Yet, his personal life was as complex as his music. Despite his immense talent, Tchaikovsky struggled financially and depended heavily on patrons. Many historians believe he harbored unrequited love for the opera singer Désirée Artôt, who ultimately rejected him.

The circumstances surrounding his death remain a mystery to this day—was it cholera or suicide? More questions persist than answers.

The love story between Tchaikovsky and his wife Antonina Milyukova was equally tragic and shrouded in mystery. The composer was disillusioned with married life just two weeks after their wedding and fled abroad. They never divorced, though they lived apart for many years. On the day of Tchaikovsky's funeral, Antonina laid a wreath at his grave inscribed: "From your adoring wife."

She died 24 years later in a mental health institution.

Love was never a priority for Tchaikovsky. He confessed that from the moment he first sat at the piano, his heart belonged to music forever. He received attention from many women, but responded with reserved politeness. Admirers flooded his home with letters and longing glances, but he simply drifted along.

Among his admirers was Antonina Milyukova, a bold and determined woman who noticed him while studying at the Moscow Conservatory, where Tchaikovsky taught for a time. She longed for him for four years, until a chance meeting reignited her hope. Seizing the moment, she used all her charms to win his attention.

"Wherever I am, I will neither forget nor stop loving you. What I found in you, I will find in no one else. Simply put, I do not want to look at any other man after you."

Antonina told Tchaikovsky she had spent several happy years near him at the conservatory, though he did not remember her. Curious, he asked his friend Eduard Langer, who taught piano to Antonina, about her.

Langer’s blunt reply was: "Fool."

Whether due to indifference or a penchant for complications, Tchaikovsky took a chance. Their correspondence blossomed into meetings, and when he hesitated to act, Antonina proposed marriage herself.

"I cannot live without you and may soon end my life. Let me see you and kiss you so that I remember it even in the afterlife..."

Tchaikovsky did not love Antonina; in fact, he despised her frivolity. His reasons for marrying her remain unclear.

Ultimately, the union was doomed. Tchaikovsky was neither passionate nor attentive, while Antonina came from a background marked by parental conflict and lacked a model for marital happiness.

He was drawn to her deep blue eyes and the modest inheritance of $10,000 — a significant sum then, especially since he had no personal wealth.

He kept the wedding secret from friends; only a few relatives attended the modest ceremony. Later, Antonina's sister recalled that everything went wrong from the start: no pink satin was placed under the couple’s feet — a bad omen — and the celebration resembled a funeral.

Tchaikovsky described the wedding day as "the most terrible day of my life." He could not find love for his wife, hated her family, and considered her an empty-headed fool.

"My wife always seeks to please; this artificiality harms her. Her mind and heart are utterly empty; I cannot describe either."

Before their marriage, Antonina claimed to adore both Tchaikovsky and his music. Yet she could not play a single note of his compositions nor showed interest in his creative plans.

She smothered him with affection, which he found insincere.

"She constantly tried to please me; she fawned before me and never opposed a single wish or thought, even about our household. She earnestly wanted to inspire love and showered me with excessive tenderness. She is not genuine but some kind of canned affection."

He called her a "strange companion" and knew their time together would be brief. Two weeks after their wedding, he fled abroad, leaving their marriage a mere legal formality.

Divorce was difficult then, requiring proof of infidelity. To free himself, Tchaikovsky considered staging an affair with friends’ help, but Antonina never consented. She clung to hope, writing him love letters and begging for his return. No threats or pleas swayed her; she was determined to remain his wife for life.

Tchaikovsky promised financial support, lamented ruining both their lives, and blamed himself for the painful, hasty marriage. While he traveled extensively, Antonina’s mental health deteriorated, worsened by their separation.

"I have never met a more repulsive human being... I hate her to madness... I have even cried in her presence... this disgusting creature of nature..."

He never returned to her. In 1893, Tchaikovsky died within days, reportedly after drinking unboiled water during a cholera outbreak in St. Petersburg.

After his death, Antonina became increasingly despondent, calling herself his widow and growing more unwell with each passing year. Even after their separation, she wrote to him: "I promise to be your slave..." and kept that vow.

She later had relationships with other men and bore three children with lawyer Alexander Shlykov. She despised motherhood and surrendered her children to an orphanage, where they all tragically died. Antonina wandered the country, attempting suicide multiple times but surviving.

Her final years were spent in a psychiatric hospital, where she authored a book about her marriage to the composer. Though Tchaikovsky had been dead for over two decades, she continued sending him unsigned letters, affectionately addressing him as "My Petya."

Photos: film stills, Legion-Media, PhotoXPress.ru, ITAR-TASS, Nikolay Akimov/TASS, TASS Reproduction

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