Olivia's 2025 Journey: Battling Bipolar Disorder and Her Silent Social Media Exit

Before my mental health episode struck, I experienced a seemingly ordinary day, feeling relatively balanced and unaware of the challenges ahead.

My name is Olivia, a passionate mental health advocate and blogger formerly known as selfloveliv on Instagram. Living with bipolar disorder, I dedicate my voice to breaking the stigma surrounding mental illness and reminding others they are never alone.

Social connection has always been vital to me, especially engaging with others who share similar struggles. Yet, recently, I withdrew completely, losing grip on my mental wellness and vanishing from social platforms.

The 'Well Technique': Visualizing Mental Health States

My mother’s insightful 'well technique' perfectly captures the experience of mental illness. Imagine a wishing well symbolizing the shadows mental health challenges cast. The distance from the well reflects my emotional state.

When the well feels far, I’m thriving—energized, unstoppable, and joyful. Standing next to it means I’m managing, not perfect but functional. Being inside the well signals deep despair, where tears and hopelessness dominate. Falling below the well is a crisis zone, overwhelmed by dark thoughts and despair.

This metaphor helps explain why I suddenly disappeared from social media like a secret mission.

September 4th, 2024: Facing the Darkest Day

That Monday, suicidal thoughts overwhelmed me unexpectedly while at work. Thankfully, I chose rest over action, retreating home to bed.

In the following days, I shut off all notifications and deactivated my beloved Instagram account—a platform where I once felt connected, impactful, and part of a supportive community.

Scrolling through others’ joyful lives only deepened my isolation, making me feel like I was failing in my own journey.

Unlike many, I don’t foresee a full recovery from bipolar disorder—there’s no cure or magic fix. Witnessing others’ recovery stories stirred feelings of anger and loneliness within me.

This created a painful cycle: craving solitude yet battling loneliness simultaneously.

Hope and the Road to Return

Though isolated and fearful, I know I will return to social media when I’m ready. The longer I stay away, the harder it feels, but honesty and openness will guide me back.

Today’s society is increasingly compassionate, especially among those who understand mental illness firsthand. By sharing our stories, we chip away at stigma.

For now, I focus on healing, breathing deeply, and embracing resilience—echoing Gloria Gaynor’s timeless anthem: I will survive.

Suicide Prevention Resources

If you or someone you know is at immediate risk, please:

• Call 911 or your local emergency services.
• Stay with the person until help arrives.
• Remove any dangerous items such as weapons or medications.
• Offer a listening ear without judgment or confrontation.

For crisis support, call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.

Olivia (Liv) is a 24-year-old mental health blogger from the UK who embraces gothic culture and Halloween. A tattoo enthusiast with over 40 tattoos, her Instagram may fluctuate but her mission remains constant.

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