Breaking Free from Domestic Violence During Isolation: Understanding Causes and Finding Safety

Discover essential steps to protect your life and well-being, and learn strategies to manage your own anger to avoid harming loved ones.

Anastasia Babicheva

Project Lead, "Knowledge Stops Gender Violence".

"Since quarantine began, my husband's aggression has worsened. Recently, he hit me just to see my reaction and pushed me several times today. I'm scared it will escalate. He's home all the time, and if this continues, I fear for my safety and my children's. I haven't prepared anything to leave." This message, sent on March 21, came from one of our project's clients. Sadly, it is far from unique.

Every day, we receive new requests from individuals facing domestic violence. Since mid-March 2020, during self-isolation, requests have increased by approximately 20%. Most cases involve violence from husbands or partners towards wives or female partners, though other scenarios exist, such as assaults by uncles or nephews.

This surge is not isolated to our project. Organizations like "Anna" and "Kitezh" report a 15–25% increase in calls. In countries like China and Brazil, helpline calls have risen by 50%. Cyprus sees a 30% increase, and the UK police have issued special guidelines, including silent help requests via apps. The rise in domestic violence during lockdown is a global concern.

Why Does This Happen?

Heightened aggression is a natural psychological response to stress. The disruption of daily routines, job losses, and new challenges elevate anxiety levels. Many turn to alcohol as a coping mechanism, which often acts as a catalyst for violent behavior. For example, one woman reported her adult son's drinking and aggression worsened during restrictions.

Two additional factors specific to isolation exacerbate aggression in close relationships.

Tatyana Loshinina

Psychologist, "Knowledge Stops Gender Violence".

First, prolonged confinement in limited social roles—such as spouse, parent, or child—can cause emotional overload. Even constant affection can become exhausting, especially when relationships are shadowed by guilt or negativity.

Second, isolation removes opportunities to resolve conflicts by distancing oneself. It becomes harder to find personal space, release tension, or distract from worries by changing surroundings.

Recognizing Warning Signs of Abuse

Early identification of abusive behavior is crucial to take protective measures before situations become life-threatening.

Be cautious if your partner:

• Pushes for rapid relationship progression without mutual consent, such as insisting on sexual intimacy against your will;
• Displays jealousy, seeks to control your life, or limits your social contacts;
• Consistently refuses responsibility for conflicts and blames others;
• Frequently humiliates or asserts dominance, even publicly;
• Acts destructively under emotional stress, damaging property or directing aggression at people or animals;
• Denies your feelings or facts, causing you to question your reality (gaslighting);
• Involves you in unwanted sexual activities, from pornography to coercive acts;
• Engages in minor physical violence such as grabbing, choking, covering your mouth, pushing, or slapping.

Valentina shares:

"My husband is a domestic tyrant. He constantly humiliates my son and me, threatens physical harm. I can't endure the insults and fear anymore."

If you feel threatened or have experienced physical aggression, consider these vital steps:

First, prepare an emergency bag with essential documents, spare keys, medications, some cash in US dollars, and personal necessities for a quick departure.

Second, always keep a charged phone with you. If your abuser restricts communication, obtain a second, simple phone, keep it silent and hidden in a lockable room like a bathroom. This allows you to call for help safely.

Establish code words with trusted friends or family to signal danger discreetly. Inform neighbors to alert authorities if they hear distress.

If violence seems imminent, try to sleep dressed along with your children to facilitate a quick escape.

Actions During an Ongoing Abuse Incident

Isolation can trap victims with their abusers. Here are steps to take if violence occurs:

Tatyana Push

Social Consultant, "Knowledge Stops Gender Violence".

• Avoid the kitchen during an attack due to dangerous objects.
• Distract the aggressor by making noise or sudden actions to create escape opportunities.
• If you reach the building's entrance, shout "Fire!" to attract attention.
• Remember, you have the right to leave your home during lockdown if your safety is at risk. Seek medical aid or police assistance immediately.

Seek medical attention and report to the police promptly. Use clear, direct language when describing incidents to ensure proper legal response.

Contact trusted people to support you through hospital visits or legal processes.

Maintain composure when authorities arrive; your cooperation affects case outcomes.

If injured, get a medical examination and follow recommended treatments. Keep all medical records, prescriptions, and receipts as evidence.

Report the circumstances of your injuries thoroughly, including the perpetrator's identity and timing. Document all physical and psychological effects.

Photograph injuries with witnesses present, noting device used, date, time, and location.

Olga recounts:

"I called the police immediately after the incident. They arrived quickly. Although police sometimes downplay domestic disputes, I was determined to pursue my case. The former husband fled before officers arrived, but I filed the report and went to the emergency room to document injuries. The hospital shared records with police, aiding the investigation. After several interviews, I was summoned to court."

Why and How to Report to Police

Importance of Reporting

Reporting abuse holds perpetrators accountable and prevents escalation. Ignoring violence fosters impunity and worsens outcomes.

Police involvement shifts aggressor focus toward legal consequences, enhancing victim safety.

Documenting abuse early creates protective legal precedents crucial for future cases involving property, custody, or defense claims.

Filing a Report

Always seek medical documentation first, as hospitals report to police and provide evidence.

Reports can be filed online via official law enforcement websites by:

• Visiting the local police department's official site;
• Accessing the citizen services section;
• Selecting the complaint submission option and attaching evidence.

If visiting a station, bring a trusted person and ensure your complaint is officially recorded with a receipt.

If Your Report Is Refused

If denied, politely request the officer's ID, note their name, position, and time. Declare your intent to appeal.

Call emergency number 112 or the prosecutor's hotline to report misconduct. You can also submit your complaint directly to the prosecutor's office.

Having witnesses or recorded refusals strengthens your case. Authorities will investigate and discipline negligent officers.

Managing Your Own Anger

Some seek help to control aggression and avoid harming loved ones. Here are techniques to manage anger, illustrated by a scenario where a partner is late without notice.

Anastasia Polyaeva

Psychologist, "Knowledge Stops Gender Violence".

• Practice slow, deep breathing with longer exhales to calm your body.
• Identify and verbalize your emotions, e.g., "I feel anxious and angry when you are late over 15 minutes without telling me."
• Notice physical signs: tense jaw, clenched fists, rapid heartbeat; acknowledge them mentally.
• Understand the root cause of your anger and express it, e.g., "Waiting wastes my time, which I value. This crosses my boundaries."
• Recognize impulses (yelling, slamming doors) and choose constructive responses, sharing feelings calmly.
• State clear requests like, "Please try to inform me if you will be late." Even self-dialogue helps regain control.

These self-help strategies are effective when you accept responsibility and wish to prevent abusive behavior.

Above all, never remain silent. Reach out for help. Our project and others continue to offer free psychological and legal support online, including chat consultations. Take care of yourself!

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