6 Relationship Scenarios Where Telling a Lie Is Beneficial

Occasionally, bending the truth can brighten your partner’s day, maintain ethical limits, or even protect a life.

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1. When Leaving an Abusive Partner

If you’ve decided to exit a toxic relationship and are planning your escape, don’t hesitate to lie boldly. Your main goal is to divert the abuser’s attention so you can safely save money, pack your belongings, and build connections with people who can help you emerge from this dark place.

Especially avoid confrontations if you feel compelled to clarify things at the end, though victims of emotional abuse usually lack the strength or desire for this. The abuser’s reaction can be unpredictable if they sense you’re breaking free. It’s better to be safe and alive than right and honest.

2. When Your Partner Asks, “Have You Ever Loved Someone More Than Me?”

Unless you’ve agreed on absolute, 100% honesty, answer “no.” Even if you once felt a stronger love, who benefits from hearing that truth?

Admitting past feelings drags out hidden skeletons and invites a third party to your relationship.

So keep those memories in the closet and don’t hesitate to lie—unless you secretly plan to return to that previous love, which would be unfair to your current partner.

3. When Planning a Surprise

Ironically, the person you’re surprising seems to develop a sixth sense, seeing through walls and detecting every clue. There’s a high chance they’ll figure out the surprise prematurely.

Therefore, you might need to weave a web of harmless lies to keep the secret intact. Make sure these lies are gentle and not hurtful, or you risk losing your partner before the big day arrives.

4. When Leaving a Generally Good Person

Your feelings have faded, and you’re packing to leave. Your ex will likely wonder what went wrong. Don’t rush to unload a list of faults. Are you sure your reasons are their shortcomings, or are you just justifying your departure by blaming them?

People leave good partners too. “We just didn’t click” is more than a cliché—it’s a valid reason for parting ways.

5. When Giving Compliments to Boost Your Partner’s Mood

Imagine your girlfriend caught a cold and transformed from a glossy magazine beauty into someone with a swollen nose and red eyes. Saying “You look great” isn’t a lie since she sees herself in the mirror and knows the truth. It’s just another way to express your love.

6. When It’s Not Your Secret to Share

While shared assets in marriage are common, your friends’ secrets are not. You don’t need to invent detailed fake stories; simply reply “I don’t know” when asked uncomfortable questions about someone you know.

Psychologist’s Commentary

Adriana Imzh

Psychological Consultant.

First, it’s essential to clarify definitions. A lie is the deliberate distortion or replacement of information with false facts. A relationship is the interaction between two people who respect and love each other.

In cases involving an abuser, it’s not about lying within a relationship—because the relationship no longer exists. It’s about saving your life, health, and well-being. In other situations, what matters is the agreements between the couple, mutual respect, and the desire for honest feedback.

Another factor is the motive behind distorting facts: Are you trying to avoid hurting your partner, or are you deceiving them for your own benefit?

When trust and agreements are the foundation, it makes sense to rely on them. Does your partner enjoy surprises? (If not, it’s better not to plan them.) Do you want to discuss your reasons for leaving? The best approach is to decide whether to lie based on the current state of your relationship.

However, if the relationship is built on manipulation, lies are already abundant and unlikely to bring any good.

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