2025 Insights: The True Cost and Reality of Motherhood with Mental Illness

Every challenging day offers valuable lessons to grow from.

Over 46 million adults in the U.S. live with mental health conditions, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. I am among them, managing anxiety and bipolar disorders for years. While anxiety triggers nervousness and racing thoughts, bipolar II brings both energetic highs and heavy lows, deeply influencing my parenting experience.

Some days, I’m engaged and joyful—dancing with my daughter, singing while bathing my son. Other days, fatigue overwhelms me, making it hard to even get out of bed. My irritability can lead to unpredictable reactions, creating inconsistency in my role as a mom.

Despite the hardships, my mental health journey has also enriched my life and relationships.

Valuable Life Lessons Through Mental Health Challenges

My children have learned to recognize and express their emotions, something I struggled with growing up. Therapy and mindfulness have helped me manage feelings, and I teach my kids to do the same, emphasizing that no emotion is wrong.

My eldest has a dedicated calm-down space filled with sensory tools to help her manage overwhelming feelings—a safe zone with no questions asked.

The Impact of Anxiety on Social Connections

Anxiety often makes forming friendships difficult by fostering self-doubt and mistrust. Yet, my daughter’s outgoing nature encourages me to engage socially, helping me become a more present and approachable parent.

The Unpredictability of Mood and Parenting

Bipolar II’s rapid mood shifts mean my children never quite know which version of mom they’ll encounter—the lively, playful side or the withdrawn, emotional side. This inconsistency challenges family dynamics but also teaches resilience and understanding.

I strive to apologize and maintain stability, modeling the importance of mental health and accountability.

Encouraging Openness and Seeking Support

Although I was raised to handle problems alone, I now openly share my struggles and involve my children in therapy visits, fostering a family culture where asking for help is normalized.

The Reality of Parenting with Limited Energy

Mental illness can cause exhaustion, making active play difficult some days. While this sometimes disappoints my children, it also cultivates their empathy and patience.

Screen Time as a Practical Coping Strategy

Though experts recommend limited screen time, on challenging days, allowing my children extra screen time helps me manage my health and recharge, balancing parenting with self-care.

Managing Irritability and Its Effects

Irritability from bipolar disorder can lead to snapping at my kids, which I recognize as one of the toughest aspects of parenting with mental illness. Acknowledging this helps me work towards better emotional regulation.

Teaching Compassion, Accountability, and Forgiveness

My mistakes have become teachable moments. By apologizing and explaining my feelings, I show my children the importance of owning up to errors and embracing forgiveness.

Kimberly Zapata is a dedicated mother, writer, and mental health advocate whose work is featured in major publications. She also runs Greater Than: Illness, a nonprofit supporting youth facing mental health challenges. Connect with Kimberly on Facebook and Twitter.

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