What Exhausted Parents Should Do If Their Infant Sleeps Poorly: Expert Tips

A peacefully sleeping baby is a joyful and heartwarming sight. The little one breathes softly and gently puckers their lips in sleep, giving parents a rare chance to rest and catch up on chores. But what if your infant struggles to sleep and wakes frequently?

There is no sight more beautiful and touching than a soundly sleeping infant. It seems like pure happiness—simple yet immense. However, only parents of such a sleeping baby truly understand how challenging it can be to maintain patience and composure when the infant has trouble sleeping.

Infant Sleep Troubles: Is It Mom’s Routine?

What do parents want from their baby? Quick sleep onset and calm, prolonged rest. Interestingly, babies need the same from their parents—and this need begins earlier than many realize. Many infants are highly sensitive to their mother’s schedule and, importantly, to her sleep quality. Surprisingly, this sensitivity starts even before birth.

Research shows that the sleep-wake rhythm begins developing in the womb around the 18th week of gestation. At this stage, the tiny fetus depends entirely on the mother, so expectant mothers should prioritize getting enough sleep, especially at night. Maintaining a consistent bedtime and wake-up time during pregnancy helps establish a healthy sleep pattern for the newborn, infant, and later toddler.

Therefore, if your infant struggles to fall asleep and wakes frequently, it’s possible they are mirroring their mother’s sleep habits.

Sleep Guidelines: How Much Should an Infant Sleep?

Newborns typically sleep most of the day, about 20-22 hours. They wake for 20-40 minutes to feed and bond with mom, then fall asleep almost immediately. As they grow, sleep duration decreases. Infants aged 1-3 months usually sleep 15-18 hours daily, broken into 3-4 naps lasting 40-90 minutes during day and night.

By six months, babies generally transition to two daytime naps, with total sleep decreasing by 1.5-2 hours. Between one and one and a half years, toddlers usually take one daytime nap and sleep approximately 13-14 hours in total.

Persistent poor sleep in infants, with insufficient rest, can negatively impact their health, growth, and development.

The Consequences of Sleep Deprivation

Even a loss of 1-2 hours of sleep daily immediately affects a child’s mood, leading to irritability and sometimes prolonged crying spells that break a parent’s heart. Appetite may also decline.

• Why Does My Infant Cry? An Explanation for Parents

Chronic sleep deprivation can cause not only psychological but also physical issues. Studies indicate that sleep-deprived children are more prone to illness, excessive spitting up during feedings, delayed development, and a higher risk of obesity later in life.

• Why Does My Baby Spit Up and Should I Worry?

Moreover, accumulated fatigue from lack of sleep negatively impacts subsequent sleep, making it harder for the infant to fall asleep and stay asleep. This creates a vicious cycle: a tired baby struggles to fall asleep, wakes frequently, cannot rest overnight, and becomes cranky and sleepy in the morning, leading to poor daytime sleep and repeated nighttime difficulties. The key to healthy nighttime sleep—not only for infants but also children up to 5-6 years old—is solid and sufficient daytime naps.

If Your Infant Sleeps Poorly, Review and Adjust:

Daily Routine. Every infant has a unique schedule. Parents should observe when their baby shows clear signs of sleepiness, usually around the same time during the day and evening. Identifying this natural bedtime helps parents consistently put their baby to sleep at the right hour. If activities like infant swimming, massage, or developmental classes are scheduled at that time, consider rescheduling or canceling, as sleep should take priority. The key is to soothe and lull the baby to sleep at the same time daily, training their body to recognize bedtime.

Comfortable Sleep Environment. The baby’s sleeping area should be comfortable but not overly soft. Use a lightweight blanket and avoid pillows for at least the first 1.5-2 years.

Maintain room temperature around 66°F (19°C) and humidity between 60-70%. In spring and summer, keep windows open with insect screens. In autumn and winter, ventilate the room 30-40 minutes before bedtime, then close windows.

Many infants take daytime naps on balconies or outdoors during walks.

Sleep Rituals. Repetitive actions, familiar sounds, and objects have a calming and sleep-inducing effect on babies. That’s why infants prefer the same stories or songs at bedtime, and parents quickly learn not to deviate from the familiar routine. In the first 6-8 months, most babies fall asleep during feeding—either breastfeeding or bottle-feeding. After six months, it’s beneficial to gradually separate feeding from sleep by introducing other rituals such as a favorite lullaby, reading a beloved book, or gentle massage. Evening baths can also soothe the nervous system and induce physical tiredness.

Don’t fear that your baby will become dependent on the pacifier and unable to sleep without it—there are many gentle, effective ways to wean them off this habit later.

Pre-Sleep Feeding. It’s essential that the baby is well-fed before sleep. Hungry infants have difficulty falling asleep and tend to wake up crying and restless. Feeding 20-30 minutes before bedtime, whether breast milk or formula, provides a sense of fullness and physical tiredness that promotes faster sleep onset.

These simple yet powerful tips can greatly assist parents whose infants have trouble sleeping both day and night. Establish a consistent routine, spend ample time outdoors, bathe your baby before bed, and after a satisfying evening feeding, lull your infant with the same melody or lullaby you’ve used many times before. With patience, love, and tenderness, you’ll be amazed at how effective these strategies can be.

Photo: Getty Images

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