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How to Support Someone Experiencing Suicidal Thoughts

Knowing what to say to someone struggling with suicidal thoughts can be challenging. Discover expert-backed guidance to offer meaningful support and help.

Nancy Schimelpfening, MS, leads the nonprofit Depression Sanctuary, bringing decades of personal experience with depression and deep understanding of its profound impact.

Hearing a loved one express a desire to end their life is one of the most distressing moments anyone can face. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly 50,000 lives are lost to suicide annually, with a 2.6% increase between 2021 and 2022.

It’s important to reject misconceptions that suicidal statements are mere attention-seeking or that those who talk about suicide won’t act on it. Every warning sign deserves serious attention.

"Avoiding conversations about suicidal feelings prevents the critical connections needed for support or intervention," explains Robin Glenn, MA, a therapist specializing in at-risk youth and families. "Open dialogue creates safe spaces for those struggling to seek help."

If someone you know is showing signs of suicidal thoughts, you should:

Assess if the risk is immediate and call 911 if so
Gently inquire about their emotions
Express sincere concern
Listen attentively and calmly
Encourage contacting a suicide prevention hotline

Recognizing Imminent Suicide Risk

If you believe your friend is at immediate risk—such as having access to weapons or pills—contact emergency services right away. Stay with them if possible, removing any objects that could cause harm. When safe, accompany them to the emergency room for professional evaluation and care.

If the threat feels serious but not immediate, offer your support, listen without judgment, and encourage professional help. There are many resources designed to assist in these situations.

Confirming Suicidal Thoughts

If you’re unsure how to approach the topic, be straightforward and compassionate. For example, say, "I’m concerned because I’ve noticed you’re not sleeping or taking care of yourself like usual." Ask directly, "Have you been thinking about ending your life?"

Don’t hesitate to ask, "Are you having thoughts of suicide?" Research shows asking does not increase suicidal ideation but instead helps guide supportive actions.

"Clinical consensus confirms that open conversations about suicide reduce stigma and encourage seeking help," says Glenn.

Gather Essential Information

If they answer yes, follow up with these questions:

Have you planned how you might do it?
Do you have the means to carry out your plan?
Do you know when you intend to act?

Most people do not have concrete plans or the resolve to act immediately, indicating they may not be in imminent danger. Treat their responses as a call for help and encourage professional support promptly.

If their responses suggest immediate risk, contact authorities without delay. Remember, intervening can save a life—even if it risks temporary strain on your relationship. When they recover, they will appreciate your support.

How to Be There for a Suicidal Friend

Supporting someone in crisis requires empathy and patience. Avoid dismissing or judging their feelings.

Speak Honestly and Compassionately

It’s natural to feel unsure about what to say. There’s no perfect script—what matters is speaking from a place of genuine care. "Authenticity and concern communicate the message: ‘You matter, I see you, and I want to help,’" Glenn emphasizes.

Show your support through words, presence, or comforting gestures. Acknowledging their pain can facilitate healing and ease suicidal thoughts.

Listen Deeply

People contemplating suicide often carry overwhelming burdens. Offering a patient, non-judgmental ear can provide relief and hope.

Your calm and accepting demeanor will help them feel safe and understood.

Encourage Ongoing Conversation

Keeping the dialogue going helps reduce emotional intensity and gives time for emotions to stabilize, decreasing the likelihood of impulsive actions.

Glenn reminds us, "Being yourself, with sincerity and courage, can shine a light into someone’s darkest moments."

Resist Quick Fixes

Avoid offering immediate solutions or minimizing their feelings. Their perception of their pain is what matters most.

Instead, express empathy and validate their emotions without judgment.

Prioritize Your Well-being

Supporting someone through suicidal crises is emotionally taxing. Make sure to seek support for yourself through trusted individuals or professionals to process your feelings.

Maintain Regular Check-ins

Suicidal thoughts can fluctuate. Consistent communication helps monitor their well-being and distinguish between fleeting feelings and active ideation.

Incorporate open conversations about mental health into your ongoing relationship.

Therapist-Recommended Tips

Glenn offers these guidelines when supporting someone at risk:

Showing care and asking about suicide will not worsen their condition
Choose private, honest, and direct communication
Frame questions without judgment, focusing on observable behaviors
You don’t need to be a mental health expert to provide meaningful help
Thank them for their honesty and reassure your support
If overwhelmed, contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 for advice

When to Seek Emergency Assistance

If a suicide attempt is underway, call emergency services immediately. If the person is conscious, gather details about substances ingested, timing, quantity, and their current health status.

For online or distant contacts, encourage them to call 911 or a local suicide hotline. Local emergency responders can provide timely help.

If they refuse to seek help, try to obtain their location and contact info to assist emergency teams in reaching them.

Additional Resources

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: Support groups for survivors and families
National Suicide Prevention Directory: State-by-state agency contacts
Samaritans: 24/7 confidential emotional support regardless of background
Suicide Awareness/Voices of Education: FAQs, statistics, and educational materials
The Yellow Ribbon Program: Suicide prevention and awareness initiatives

If you or someone you care about is struggling with suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for immediate support from trained counselors. In emergencies, dial 911.

Explore more mental health support through our National Helpline Database.

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