How to Recognize and Manage a Sense of Entitlement in People Around You

Some individuals believe they deserve special privileges without earning them.

A sense of entitlement is a personality trait where a person feels entitled to special treatment or recognition without merit. Those with this mindset often expect the world to cater to their needs without reciprocation.

While entitlement in children can be a normal part of development due to their reliance on caregivers, as they mature, excessive dependence on others can hinder their journey toward independence.

Quick Overview

Traits like demanding special favors, expecting others to act on their behalf, lacking gratitude, and craving constant admiration often characterize entitled individuals. These behaviors may stem from upbringing or mental health conditions and can strain relationships. However, fostering independence and self-reliance can mitigate these tendencies.

This guide delves into identifying entitlement signs, understanding its impact, and practical approaches to cope with entitlement in yourself and others.

Identifying Signs of Entitlement

Wondering if someone you know shows entitlement? Consider these common traits that often indicate an entitled mindset.

Typically, entitled individuals exhibit self-centered perspectives with minimal empathy for others. In severe cases, entitlement may be linked to personality disorders such as narcissistic or antisocial personality disorders.

Desire for Special Treatment

Such individuals expect preferential treatment without justification, believing the world owes them special consideration.

For instance, they might disregard organizational rules, expecting exemptions due to their perceived status.

Excessive Demands

They often feel deserving of more than what they currently have, seeking to elevate their lifestyle without proportional effort.

Expecting Others to Serve Them

Entitled people believe others should accommodate their needs because of their position or wealth, expecting unwavering support.

If challenged or disagreed with, they may attempt to guilt or shame others into compliance.

Self-Centered Priorities

They prioritize their needs above all, rarely reciprocating support or consideration for others' responsibilities.

Overly Dramatic Reactions

When their demands aren't met, they may react with exaggerated emotional displays, often creating tension and discomfort.

Lack of Appreciation

Entitled individuals seldom express gratitude, viewing their possessions and relationships as entitlements rather than privileges.

Entitlement Extending to Money, Possessions, and Relationships

This attitude often permeates all areas of life, leading to greediness or taking friendships for granted.

Victim Mentality

They frequently portray themselves as victims, blaming others or external circumstances for their misfortunes, reinforcing their belief that the world owes them.

Constant Need for Praise

Many seek continual admiration and validation, often linked to narcissistic tendencies.

Hidden Insecurities

Behind their confident facade, some struggle with deep insecurities and fears of inadequacy, sometimes accompanied by depression or social withdrawal.

Summary

Common entitlement indicators include craving special treatment, making high demands, selfish behavior, ingratitude, and adopting a victim stance.

Origins of a Sense of Entitlement

Several factors contribute to entitlement, including upbringing, parental indulgence, overprotection from consequences, cultural influences, past deprivation, or psychological disorders like narcissistic, antisocial, or borderline personality disorders.

Effects of Entitlement

Entitled individuals often pursue self-image goals that lead to interpersonal conflicts. Despite appearing polite externally, their internal attitudes may be dismissive or hostile.

Research indicates entitlement can cause chronic dissatisfaction, unmet expectations, and harmful psychological or social outcomes. Their perceived superiority often results in defensiveness and anger when faced with challenges, perpetuating a negative cycle.

Strategies to Overcome Entitlement

Though challenging, individuals can reduce entitlement by adopting new habits fostering independence.

Acknowledge Entitlement Feelings

Recognize when entitlement arises and refuse to let it dictate your actions.

Accept Life’s Realities

Understand that life is inherently unfair, and no one is inherently owed anything. Focus on making the best of your circumstances.

Give Without Expecting Returns

Engage in acts of kindness or volunteer work without anticipating rewards, finding fulfillment in helping others.

Differ Between Needs and Wants

Learn to distinguish essential needs from desires to make balanced decisions and reduce excessive demands.

Focus on Controllable Factors

Concentrate on your thoughts, feelings, and actions rather than external uncontrollable events or others' behaviors.

Practice Gratitude

Regularly appreciate the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small, to foster contentment.

Consider Others’ Perspectives

Reflect on how entitlement affects those around you and respect their feelings and boundaries.

Be Compassionate to Yourself

Show self-kindness to avoid neglecting your own needs while overcoming entitlement.

Seeking Professional Support

If entitlement disrupts your life or relationships, consulting a mental health professional can provide insight and coping tools. Therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), interpersonal therapy (IPT), and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) can be effective.

Managing Entitled Individuals

Dealing with entitled people can be stressful. Protect yourself by setting clear boundaries, learning to say no, and encouraging them to solve their own problems to promote self-reliance.

Final Thoughts

Changing entitlement behaviors is a gradual process but worthwhile. Professional guidance can aid in uncovering underlying causes and fostering healthier interactions. Embracing change leads to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Explore trusted online therapy platforms such as Talkspace, BetterHelp, and Regain for accessible mental health support.

Sources:

1. Grubbs JB, Exline JJ. Trait entitlement: A cognitive-personality source of vulnerability to psychological distress. Psychol Bull. 2016;142(11):1204-1226.
2. Crowe ML, LoPilato AC, Campbell WK, Miller JD. Identifying two groups of entitled individuals: Cluster analysis reveals emotional stability and self-esteem distinction. J Pers Disord. 2016;30(6):762-775.
3. Moeller SJ, Crocker J, Bushman BJ. Creating hostility and conflict: Effects of entitlement and self-image goals. J Exp Soc Psychol. 2009;45(2):448.
4. Lange J, Redford L, Crusius J. A Status-Seeking Account of Psychological Entitlement. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2019;45(7):1113-1128.

By Arlin Cuncic, MA
Arlin Cuncic holds a Master’s degree in clinical psychology and is the author of The Anxiety Workbook, as well as the founder of the About Social Anxiety website.

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