4 Phrases to Avoid When Supporting Someone During a Panic Attack

Panic attacks involve a mix of emotional, mental, and physical symptoms that can be overwhelming. They often start with feelings of intense fear, nervousness, and dread. As the attack progresses, physical sensations may intensify, including:

• Chest discomfort
• Profuse sweating
• Rapid heartbeat
• Nausea
• Trembling
• Difficulty breathing
• Numbness or tingling

These distressing symptoms are commonly accompanied by fearful thoughts, such as worries about losing control, going crazy, experiencing a medical emergency, or even dying. During an attack, individuals might also feel detached from themselves or reality, a phenomenon known as depersonalization or derealization.

Panic attacks can strike unpredictably. For those with panic disorder, attacks often occur suddenly without warning or identifiable triggers. People with specific phobias might only experience attacks when confronted with their particular fear, though avoiding these triggers isn’t always feasible.

Because panic attacks can happen anytime and anywhere, friends and family often want to help. While their support is well-intentioned, sometimes the words they use can unintentionally worsen the situation.

If you or someone close to you experiences panic attacks, consider reaching out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for guidance on support and treatment options in your area.

For additional mental health resources, visit our National Helpline Database.

Here are some key phrases to avoid when comforting someone during a panic attack, along with better alternatives.

Don't Say: "Just Calm Down"

Telling someone to "calm down" can feel dismissive, implying they have full control over their symptoms. If they could simply stop the attack, they would. Such comments may increase their self-consciousness and heighten anxiety.

Instead, guide them gently towards calming techniques like:

• Deep, controlled breathing
• Guided visualization
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Mindful imagery

These methods help redirect focus and foster a sense of safety and understanding.

Don't Say: "You Have No Reason to Be Nervous"

People experiencing a panic attack are often aware that their fear isn’t logically justified. However, their body’s fight-or-flight response is activated, making it difficult to control the overwhelming sensations.

Pointing out the lack of real danger can unintentionally amplify their anxiety. Instead, offer reassurance with a calm tone, reminding them you’re there to support them.

Don't Say: "You're Embarrassing Yourself"

This remark can be deeply insensitive. Many individuals already feel ashamed about having a panic attack in public, so highlighting this only adds to their distress.

Focus on affirming their strength by saying things like:

• "I’m here with you."
• "You’re handling this well."
• "This will pass, and you’ll get through it."

Positive encouragement can significantly boost their confidence during such vulnerable moments.

Don't Say: "You're Overreacting"

Minimizing their experience by suggesting they’re overreacting can be very discouraging. Panic attacks are genuine and intense, not simply emotional responses within easy control.

Instead, help create a calming environment by:

• Moving to a quiet space or outdoors for fresh air
• Finding a less crowded area where they feel secure
• Offering silent, comforting presence if unsure what to say

Sometimes, just staying nearby quietly as the attack subsides is the best support you can provide.

For further reading, explore topics such as

• Common Mental Health Conditions
• Panic Disorder Insights
• Effective Coping Strategies

Sources:

1. National Institute of Mental Health. "Panic disorder: when fear overwhelms."
2. Mendoza L, Navines R, Crippa JA, et al. "Depersonalization and personality in panic disorder." Comprehensive Psychiatry, 2011;52(4):413-9. doi:10.1016/j.comppsych.2010.09.002

Written by Katharina Star, PhD
Katharina Star, PhD, is a specialist in anxiety and panic disorders. She is a licensed counselor trained in creative arts therapies and mindfulness techniques.

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