Warning Signs of a Troubling Date You Shouldn't Ignore

Every time we prepare for a first date, deep down, we hope for a miracle and dream of meeting our perfect match. Here, we highlight crucial warning signs to help you avoid turning a promising encounter into a nightmare.

One meeting is often enough to get a preliminary sense of who you're dealing with. This isn’t about the inner richness of your admirer but about identifying types of people who may bring nothing but trouble in the future.

To prevent bitter disappointments, follow these simple guidelines:

• Keep your common sense active and avoid putting on rose-colored glasses prematurely.

• Don’t deceive yourself by rationalizing or excusing odd behavior, appearance, or manners of your new date—even if he’s the first man to invite you out in years.

Watch out for these alarming signs:

1. He frequently arrives more than 15 minutes late. Traffic jams, accidents, or other excuses shouldn’t make you pay with your time for his poor scheduling skills.

Why should you sacrifice your time for his lack of punctuality?

2. He refuses a glass of wine but watches you drink it with a hungry gaze, seemingly craving alcohol but pretending to abstain to impress you. Look closely—are there tiny reddish veins near his nose or cheekbones?

3. He insists on drinking and quickly gets intoxicated, clearing the bar. Nervousness doesn’t fully explain this; it’s often a sign of habitual drinking or someone reliant on alcohol to relax. Ask yourself if you want to be with someone who can’t manage stress without alcohol.

Would you commit to someone who lacks healthier ways to unwind?

4. His eyes dart nervously or fixate intensely, as if scrutinizing you like a police case. This behavior often indicates instability.

5. He eagerly discusses “women’s topics” like grooming, beauty procedures, or plastic surgery, giving unsolicited advice and criticizing women who don’t meet his standards. Consider if you want to be molded or constantly judged.

6. He showers you with exaggerated compliments and seems obsessed with a celebrity you resemble. If so, be cautious; he might become clingy or overly attached, following you everywhere.

7. No matter the topic, he steers the conversation back to his ex. Whether he speaks ill or praises her, it shows he’s not ready for a new relationship. Beware if he blames her for everything; this habit can persist beyond your relationship.

8. He frequently touches you under flimsy pretenses, reveals little about himself, yet pushes for sex immediately. He tries to appear intellectual but slips up with mistakes and awkward speech. Rather than being shy from first love, he might be a pickup artist seeking a one-night stand.

• How to recognize a pickup artist

9. He claims his daughter from a previous marriage is the most important woman in his life, making it hard to be his number two.

10. His mother calls multiple times during your date, and he constantly compares you or places his mother’s opinions above yours. Decide if you want a partner or a perpetual child.

11. He seems unprepared or uninterested in the date—messy appearance, slow movements, and poor communication. Such a person might need rescuing, but supporting someone with depression or suicidal tendencies is challenging and sometimes ungrateful.

12. He either talks obsessively about sex or avoids the topic entirely. Both extremes can indicate underlying issues.

Excessive shyness or boldness about sex can be red flags.

13. His phone constantly rings with work calls, and he talks passionately about his job. If work dominates his life, he may already be married to his career—a sign of workaholism.

14. His plans change suddenly; he may have promised a full evening but then limits your time and expects you to accommodate. Such selfishness is hard to change.

15. Financial troubles are evident—he forgets his wallet, considers fast food a fine dining option, or asks you to cover expenses. While rare, some wealthy individuals also exhibit this behavior.

If you notice even one warning sign during your meeting, it’s worth reconsidering whether to continue the relationship.

The author thanks Dr. Eugene Kulgavchuk, a sexologist, and psychologist Eugene Smirnov for their assistance in preparing this material.

Photo: Getty Images

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