A Mother's Journey: Raising Four Sons with Autism and Embracing Unwavering Hope

More parents are openly sharing their children's autism diagnoses to demonstrate that these children can lead fulfilling lives, despite the challenges involved. Sarah Zeigel, a London resident, recently shared the remarkable story of her family.

Sarah met her husband Jonathan at the age of 35. When she became pregnant, it was a moment of immense joy for the couple. She fondly recalls telling Jonathan, who was late for the ultrasound appointment, that they were expecting twins.

As a first-time mother, Sarah had no expectations and believed for three years that her children were developing normally.

Although the twins were often restless and frequently cried, Sarah thought this was typical behavior for young children. However, when Benjamin and Thomas did not start speaking like other toddlers, people reassured her it was nothing to worry about. The turning point came during a routine hearing test when the boys behaved like any other kids—running and shouting. That day, Sarah and Jonathan received the diagnosis of autism for the first time.

The news was overwhelming. Reflecting on Benjamin and Thomas’s early years, Sarah realizes the signs were always there.

“They didn’t understand words directed at them. They threw endless tantrums and smeared urine on walls. They ignored soft toys but were fascinated by inanimate objects. For example, Thomas was obsessed with a toothbrush holder and refused to give it up. On his second day at preschool, staff tried to take it from him, which caused a meltdown. I was told not to bring the twins back as the caregivers couldn’t manage them,” Sarah recalls.

Determined to help her sons, Sarah began researching autism. Her first book was disheartening, claiming autism was incurable and doubting that children could ever lead normal lives. But Sarah refused to give up.

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She met a woman who introduced her to Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, which eventually made a significant difference. ABA teaches children through positive reinforcement, rewarding desired behaviors with what motivates them most.

“Benjamin was obsessed with water. His teacher spent hours in the garden with a hose, and if Benjamin managed to say the letter ‘B,’ he was rewarded with a spray of water. Within two weeks, he started making sounds and began speaking words after six weeks,” Sarah shares.

This progress brought hope, but the family faced another challenge when their youngest son, Hector, who had been developing typically until age two, began losing his speech and eventually stopped talking altogether. Doctors dismissed Sarah’s concerns as paranoia, but she knew otherwise.

Hector was also diagnosed with autism, marking the most difficult period in Sarah’s life. While the twins made progress, they still faced challenges, and Hector regressed to the earlier developmental stage of his brothers.

Jonathan and Sarah felt isolated from society. They couldn’t attend family gatherings as others couldn’t accept the boys’ behavior, and other parents often reacted with hostility.

On one occasion, Sarah took the boys to a trampoline park where Benjamin accidentally jumped on another child. When Sarah apologized and explained Benjamin’s autism, the other mother reacted angrily, shouting, “How dare you bring your autistic child here? You’re putting other children at risk!” Unfortunately, such difficulties are common for families like theirs.

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Sarah explains that raising children with autism is emotionally, physically, and financially demanding. The couple refinanced their home twice and took in boarders to afford therapies.

With little family support and no backup when caregivers were ill, Sarah couldn’t leave the house. The constant stress led to adrenal fatigue, leaving her physically drained. Yet, she never regretted the effort: “Every bit of work was worthwhile. The boys slowly began speaking, playing, and eating solid foods—milestones that come naturally to most children.”

Still, Sarah longed for a neurotypical child. Genetic tests indicated only a 20% chance of having another child with autism. Confident she would be lucky, she gave birth to a fourth son.

As Marcus grew, Sarah refused to consider the possibility he might also be autistic, especially since there were no early signs. However, by age two, it became clear he was on the spectrum. This time, acceptance was easier because Sarah knew help was available.

The boys’ development exceeded all expectations.

“Now we are close to the life we always dreamed of for the boys—a life that allows them to live independently. They not only speak, but they rarely stop talking. We enjoy family outings, dining out, and going to the movies, and these experiences are no longer overwhelming,” Sarah says.

All four boys were diagnosed with classic, severe autism, but Hector and Marcus have made greater developmental strides than the twins. Marcus attends a mainstream school, while Hector goes to a small private school and is passionate about filmmaking.

“I am confident the younger boys will achieve independence and meaningful employment. The twins are adults now and will likely need support lifelong, but they are happy young men preparing for college. Benjamin is a gifted musician, and Thomas is an amazing artist. Thomas recently went to a pub with a friend and even brought two pints to their table himself. Such achievements once seemed impossible,” Sarah proudly shares.

Ultimately, Sarah authored a book offering valuable advice for parents of children with autism, emphasizing that while there is no miracle cure, hope and perseverance can lead to meaningful progress.

Photo credit: social media

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