Essential Insights on Divorce: Expert Lawyer Irina Dementyevskaya Answers Your Toughest Questions

We gathered the questions you’ve been curious about but hesitant to ask.

In this insightful series, specialists tackle the sensitive topics people often avoid, fearing they might seem uninformed. This time, family law attorney Irina Dementyevskaya shares her expertise on whether you can divorce if your spouse disagrees, and when remarrying is legally possible after divorce.

Irina Dementyevskaya
Specialist in family and inheritance law.

1. What questions might a judge ask during a divorce hearing?

If a couple has no minor children or property disputes and both want a divorce, court involvement isn’t necessary—they can simply register the divorce at the civil registry office.

When there are minor children involved, the divorce is processed in a magistrate court, which is straightforward. The judge may simply ask, "Do you wish to dissolve the marriage?" If both agree, the judge may then inquire about any property disputes or disagreements regarding child custody.

If no disputes exist, the judge typically won't investigate further. However, if conflicts arise, the case is transferred to a district court, which handles such matters. Divorce proceedings can be stressful, so emotional preparation and familiarizing yourself with courtroom etiquette—like addressing the judge respectfully and standing when they enter—can help the process go smoothly.

2. Who usually initiates divorce more often—men or women?

Experience shows that initiation rates between men and women are roughly equal. The reasons are quite similar: differing values, growing apart, or simply feeling ready to move on. Infidelity and domestic abuse are also common causes, with women more frequently initiating divorce in abuse cases.

3. Can you get divorced if your spouse is strongly opposed?

Yes. In the U.S., courts ultimately grant divorce even if one spouse resists and attempts to delay the process. Legal systems include multiple levels of appeal, so while the process might be prolonged, the marriage can be legally dissolved regardless of opposition.

One exception is if the spouse is pregnant or the child is less than a year old and the mother does not consent to the divorce. Once the child turns one, the other spouse can petition for divorce, which the court will typically grant.

4. How can you proceed with divorce if you don’t know where your spouse currently lives?

Divorce petitions are generally filed at the respondent’s place of residence, but can also be filed at the petitioner’s location if travel is impossible due to childcare or health issues.

If the spouse’s whereabouts are unknown, indicate their last known address and simultaneously request the court to obtain updated residency information from authorities. If the spouse has moved abroad without local registration, you may file in the jurisdiction where they own property or at their last known address. The court can proceed even if the spouse doesn’t attend the hearing.

5. How to divorce an international spouse?

International divorces can be complex. It's best to file for divorce in the country where the marriage was registered, simplifying legal recognition for both parties.

Divorcing in a different country than where you married may create legal complications because each country's laws and international agreements vary. You might need to legalize the foreign divorce decree or even initiate a new divorce process locally. Understanding bilateral treaties and local laws beforehand is crucial to avoid lingering marital status issues.

6. Can you remarry immediately after divorce?

When divorcing through court, there is typically a 30-day appeal window after the decision. If unchallenged, the divorce becomes final after this period. Only then can you legally remarry.

If the divorce occurs through civil registration without court involvement, it is effective immediately upon entry in official records. However, the earliest you can apply for a new marriage is the following day, with the wedding date set accordingly.

7. Does a non-working spouse have rights to marital property?

It's a misconception that a non-working spouse has no claim. Generally, marital assets are divided equally. However, if the non-working spouse refused employment without valid reasons or misused family funds for personal interests, their share may be slightly reduced.

Conversely, homemakers caring for children contribute significantly to the family’s welfare. Courts typically recognize this, maintaining equal property division despite the absence of formal employment.

8. Are debts divided during divorce, and how?

Yes, debts incurred for family needs are usually split equally or proportionally to property division. Debts taken out for personal use by one spouse remain that individual’s responsibility.

Proving the purpose of borrowed funds can involve reviewing loan agreements and supporting documents like receipts for household expenses. Joint loans list both spouses and are considered shared debts.

9. Does the court usually award custody to the mother?

No. Courts can and do award custody to fathers, though mothers often request custody more frequently. Historically, laws favored mothers based on child welfare declarations, but modern courts prioritize the child's best interests regardless of parent gender.

Decisions consider parents’ work schedules, ability to care for the child, personality, health, and the child's own wishes (especially from age 10). Financial status is less influential than these factors.

10. How to be certain if someone is legally divorced?

Marriage and divorce status no longer require passport stamps. Instead, a certificate of no record of civil status registration can be obtained via government portals or service centers, confirming if a person is unmarried at that time.

While status can change after issuing the certificate, it provides reliable proof that the individual was not married when the document was issued.

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