What the Bird Test Reveals About Your Relationship (Gottman Bids)
A quick TikTok trend invites couples to test their emotional connection. Learn what bids are, how the Bird Test works, and practical steps to boost empathy and trust in your relationship.
The Bird Test has captured attention on social media as a playful way to gauge how couples tune into each other. While it looks like a simple moment—spotting a bird and pointing it out—the reaction reveals how responsive each partner is to daily bids for connection.
What is the Bird Test?
In the language of psychology, a bids is any small moment when one partner signals a desire for connection. The Bird Test uses a tiny cue—a bird in the window and a prompt to notice it—to see whether the other person responds with warmth, curiosity, or participation. Fairly simple responses like a smile or a quick comment count as a positive bid response, while indifference or dismissal counts as a missed bid.
How to read bids and why it matters
John Gottman’s research shows that healthy relationships balance many positive interactions with fewer negatives. A common guideline is that about five positive exchanges for every negative one supports long‑term happiness. When bids are ignored more often than not, couples may need to invest more in mutual care and understanding.
Should you try it? Interpreting the results
Remember: a Bird Test is not a full study of your relationship. It’s a quick indicator of how often partners notice and respond to each other’s emotional signals. External stress factors—work pressures, illness, or money concerns—can affect a person’s momentary reaction. Use the result to start a conversation about emotional needs and how you can better support one another.
Ways to strengthen emotional connection
Beyond this trend, practical approaches like learning your partner’s inner world, often called “love maps,” and creating regular rituals of connection can help. Small acts of appreciation and steady responsiveness usually improve relationship satisfaction more than grand gestures.
Expert comment
A relationship expert says bids are everyday signals that show how engaged a partner is. How couples respond to these moments shapes trust and warmth over time.
Conclusion
In short, the Bird Test offers a simple, relatable way to observe how often partners notice and respond to each other’s emotional bids. Use it as part of ongoing conversations and mindful care. Small, consistent efforts can build lasting trust and closeness.
Key insight: Small, timely bids for connection are the fuel that keeps a relationship thriving.